A Sure Way To Get Some Attention

As I sat down to blog this afternoon, I wasn't exactly sure what I would end up writing.  My direction suddenly became clear though the moment I began to write, thanks to my loving husband.  

All afternoon, he has been watching a football game and playing/working on his phone.  The boys and I have been in the same room, but decidedly not doing those things.  I have been available for conversation or activity, but Matt was relaxing and doing what he wanted to do, so I did the same with the boys.

So all afternoon I have been doing nothing that I couldn't do while giving him my attention and he did not require it.  But, I kid you not, as soon as I started to write my blog, he suddenly sat down next to me and began a serious conversation requiring my attention and comments and opinions!  

I think maybe next time I want to talk and he doesn't or am in need of some extra attention, I will just open my computer and pretend to be "busy" and it will immediately draw his focus onto me!  

Little Mirrors

And now it is time again for "reflections on motherhood," by me, the expert on all things parenting.  (For those of you you who don't know me well, that was written with a heavy dose of sarcasm...)

I have discovered that I hold special powers in my home.  One of these special powers is the power to influence every other person's mood/attitude.  It's true.  Only Matt is slightly immune to my powers (he must have a potion for it or something.)  

Lately, I have been finding that when I am happy, positive, and upbeat, everyone is happy, positive, and upbeat!  It really is amazing how just "being happy" myself makes my boys happy.  If a fight breaks out or tempers start to flair, all I have to do is do or say something goofy and step in and be a part of things in a fun way and suddenly, the mood has lightened and everyone is moving on, and, most likely, laughing.  There is rarely a fight or lack of harmony when I am actually actively involved in the game of the moment.

When Jack is fussy and nothing I give him seems to work, I find just wrestling and laughing with him restarts him and defuses the whine.  Telling him to stop whining has never worked.

When Ben and Mitchell have run out of things to do and are driving everyone crazy, I just have to stop being annoyed, switch gears, and play with them and their mood instantly changes!  Telling them to play nicely or "be a little quieter" never works.

Now that I reflect on it, I cannot think of a time when I tried to fix an attitude by adding humor or silliness along with personal involvement and it hasn't worked!

This power is amazing to talk about, but much harder to actually wield sometimes.  Selfishly, I want to be grumpy or annoyed or tired of playing mommy.  I don't actually want to act goofy or silly.  I often prefer to pretend my kids are just annoying and there is nothing I can do about it, so I might as well do something else and just long for bedtime.  

This is where my super-power shows its negative side, unfortunately.  Where I have the power to change negative to positive, I also have the power to turn happy kids into whiney, grumpy, annoying, on-edge kids.  It is on my selfish days that I snap at them for running around or for growling like dragons (apparently, they can actually understand each other in this language, but to me, it is just noise - LOUD noise!)  It is times like this, where I change the mood of the room from playful into stressful, and I will hesitantly say, this happens more than I like to admit.

My boys are a mirror of me in so many ways.  When I am having a good time and am positive, they mirror me.  When I display poor coping skills and am easily annoyed, they mirror me there too.  When I shout when frustrated at them, they mirror me and shout at each other in similar circumstances.  They learn how to react and how to behave mostly from me still.  They learn positivity and harmony, or the lack of, from how I interact with my family.  If I find a troublesome pattern in any one of them, perhaps I need to look in the mirror a bit more myself and see what my reflection is telling me there.  

He Does What He Has To

Mitchell is not one to let something get in his way.  When he encounters an obstacle, one that his older brother would sometimes get stuck at and immediately ask for help, he figures it out, takes care of it, and continues on his way.  He is especially good at solving problems if the solution allows him to get into something or do something questionable.  That kitchen tool has been purposely put out of his reach.  The candy stash has been hidden.  That toy you and Ben fought over is off limits and up way too high for you to possibly get to.

Mitchell always finds a way and often improvises to do so.  I find him using all sorts of things as stools, and he can climb like you wouldn't believe.  A couple days ago, I heard him messing around in the kitchen, and when I checked on him, I discovered him accomplishing his mission of reaching something too far back on the counter by using my juice pitcher as a stool.  This time he was not doing anything naughty, just trying to reach something.  

I do love his ability to think through a problem, find a solution, and then just do it without help.  It really is pretty impressive sometimes! 

Angry People

Yesterday, while walking with my children, minding my own business and enjoying being outside with them, I experienced quite a verbal attack on my motherhood from some crazy nut.  He was crazy enough that I felt he deserved a spot on my blog!

I was on my way home from Starbucks with my two youngest.  Jack was all bundled up in the stroller, singing away and getting quite a kick out of the fact that he could see his breath in white puffs.  Mitchell was riding his bike for the first time all winter (his idea which he was super excited about!) and we had basically empty sidewalks mid-morning.  It was quite cold, but the sun was shining, we were properly dressed, and just having a great time together.  

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, I hear a car slow down next to me out on the street and some man hang his body half out the window and tell me, "Hey you!  You need to get that kid closer to you!  Don't you watch your kids?"  Now I don't keep Mitchell on a leash, nor do I even want him to ride his bike so close to me he can touch me (that is just asking for toes to be run over and collisions with the stroller are certain) but he was no more than a few yards in front of me.  We were nowhere near an intersection or driveway or alley and I have no idea where this guy came from all of the sudden!

He didn't stop there either.  When I, as politely as I could manage, replied, "Thanks for your concern, but I have this under control," the man went crazy!  He leaned farther out his window and started cursing me and swearing at me and calling me all sorts of things I would prefer not to hear myself, let alone my kids!  He told me I was a terrible mother and shouldn't be allowed to have kids at all.  He drove along side me, not letting up with his angry tirade until the end of the block!  At one point, I told him to mind his own business and go away, which really set him off and he said, "This IS my business, you ******* ****** ****** *****!  When I run over him in my car, then it will REALLY be my business!"  Was he really threatening to run my child over just to prove his point that I am a lousy mother?

Sometimes, I get annoyed or defensive with people for pointing out something to me about my kids, but underneath, realize there is a tad bit of truth to it - yes, they were being annoying.  Yes, he is being quite loud.  Yes, I let him put his candy back in his mouth after dropping it on the ground.  Yes, he is sword-fighting his brother with a large stick.  Those things are not a very big deal to me most of the time and still no one else's business to comment on, but I can understand their thoughts at least. 

This guy, though, was a nut job and his accusations were completely unfounded.  This time, we were simply enjoying some time together outside, all happy, all smiling, all behaving, all chatting away with each other.  While it was happening and after, I kept looking around me for someone to be there to back me up and at least scowl at the man, if not stand up for me, but there was no one around!  I was left on my own to defend myself and my kids, and for once, I actually gave him a piece of my mind.  It seemed to make him more irate for sure, but man, someone ought to give him a big, fat, punch in the nose!  I'm pretty sure Matt would have walked out into the street and done just that, had he been there.  

Angry people: chill out!  Do not take your aggression out on innocent and happy families enjoying simple pleasures in life!  Go join a gym or get a punching bag and leave the rest of us alone!

A Drink For Doctors

Since I am not a big fan of pop, I never buy it for my family.  The only thing that ever gets drunk out of a can in this house is beer, so when Mitchell was given and allowed to drink a can of Dr Pepper of his own at Grandpa and Grandpa's house, he was certain he was getting away with something sneaky and drinking a beverage not intended for children.

He really relished that can.  He took little sips out of it, carrying it all over the house with him, hiding it from Jack's frantic attempts to get his little hands on it, and sighing with pleasure with each sip, saying things like, "This sure is delicious!" and "I sure love this drink!" and "We should get these at home!"  

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and he finally finished his pop.  Not too long later, I heard him ask Matt for another, saying, "Dad, I want another man drink - the one for doctors!"

Inventing New Words

For the most part, I think I am fairly honest with my kids' abilities. I think they are all intelligent and each one has areas they are a little ahead in, but I don't pretend any of them are geniuses or prodigies in any area.

That said, I think Ben has a talent for language. He spoke early, he was conversational early, he has been clearly understandable by all at an early age, he has an advanced vocabulary, and he rarely makes grammatical errors. If he does make a mistake, he only needs correction once and the mistake is rarely made a second time.

Mitchell is also intelligent and even speaks well and understandably, but doesn't posses quite the flair Ben does in this area. Because Ben has always spoken so properly, I can't recall any funny or cute mistakes that were a part of his vocabulary for a time.

Mitchell, however, has loads of them! Knowing that Ben might be above average in this area has really given me a patience and even a delight in Mitchell's "mistakes." He calls propellers "impellers." Cement mixers are "cemix makers," and he "sinks" sometimes instead of "thinks." For a time, anything risky, exciting, or dangerous was "whoa, denrious!"  The Land Before Time is "Land For Be Time," and he does things "all bury himself," rather than "all by himself."

These words of his, and countless others of the like, are cute, funny, and make me smile every time, and although I usually do correct him when he uses them, I am always hesitant to because of the humor and happiness they bring me.

Lately, his words are becoming more and more correct and I find myself missing his "mistakes," but there is a new word that he has come up with that is pretty funny and has been invented not out of incorrect pronunciation or mix-up of letters but a combination of two over-used words. His newly invented word is: "binlook!"

When he wants me to pay attention or see something he says, "binlook!" Do you get it? He has said "Ben, look!" so often that it has become one word meaning, "check this out!" and he uses it no matter who he is speaking to!

I like this word quite a bit. I like it because it's existence symbolizes how close my boys are to one another.

Sent from my iPhone

Did You Eat That?

Matt's family made a birthday dinner for me with chocolate cupcakes for dessert last night. It was all quite delicious, but no one thought it more delicious than Mitchell, apparently.

Today, Grandma gave him a leftover cupcake for a snack. When I saw Jack wandering around with the cupcake, leaving a trail of chocolate crumbs in his wake, I had to check with Mitchell to find out why he had given it away.

When I asked him why he gave it to Jack, he said, "Oh, I ate the yummy part and gave Jack the rest! I ate that paper part around it!"

I didn't quite believe him at first, but I searched for some time and could not find the wrapper. He actually ate the paper wrapper and gave away the cake! Oh, he makes me chuckle...

Sent from my iPhone