Feeling Unspecial

One of the draw-backs to not having all your kids in the same school is that sometimes, one of them has a day off when the other one doesn't. Today is one of those days. Ben is off, Mitchell is not.

Matt and I thought it would be fun and special for him to be able to go to work with daddy all day. He is old enough to be able to do this on a real work day. During the times when Matt has to get work done, Ben can read silently, play computer games, draw pictures, and hang out with co-workers easily.

I gave him the choice of staying home, sleeping in, staying in his jammies all morning, and watching some cartoons or going with dad. He immediately chose "go with dad!!!"

Mitchell chose that option as well. Poor guy. I had to explain to him that he couldn't go along because he still had school. He was just crushed. He moped around all day yesterday and then this morning, when Ben and Matt were getting ready, he just kinda slumped down, bordering on tears. (Real tears are a pretty big deal with Mitchell - very rare.)

He even ran up the driveway, following them as far as the street as they drove away, then just stood there watching for a few minutes.

He came back inside and said, "Mom? I'm special too! Howcome I don't get something so special like Ben?" I explained to him that although he was just as special to us, sometimes things are more special when things aren't exactly even - when it seems unfair. Sometimes, in order to understand when something is really special, you have to also know what it is like to feel... well, unspecial. He didn't get it. He is nothing if not stubborn - his thoughts and ideas are no exception.

I tried to make every day life a little more "special" for Mitchell today without buying him things and trying to make up for what Ben got to do. Someday it will be reversed and Mitchell will be the one getting special treatment. Perhaps then he will get it.

In the mean time, I've got a mopey little boy, waiting for his big brother and his dad to get home so he can stop feeling so left out.

Sunday Morning Spiders

Ben and Mitchell wanted to look at pictures of tarantulas this morning, so Matt obliged. Perfectly normal Sunday morning activity, right? Who doesn't want to look at close-up pictures of hairy spiders to get the day going? The pictures got grosser and grosser and scarier and scarier I guess because what started out as, "Oh, check that one out!" and "That one is huge!" turned into "Ewww!" and "That one is too scary!" and "Ahh! Change the picture, dad!" together with plenty of shrieks and eye-covering.

Not one to miss out on a good, loud time, Jack quickly joined in. He loved the pictures and every time a new one would come up, he'd point and say, "Flies! Eww..." followed by plenty of laughing and jumping up and down. "Flies" are what he calls all bugs and spiders. Obviously, we have a problem keeping our doors closed, if Jack is that familiar with flies...

Dude Style

I am surrounded by males in my house, so naturally, there are things I prefer not to be done that make sense to me, a female, but don't seem to be so black and white for the rest of my family. I have learned that when I am the only one who thinks a rule or a style of doing something makes sense or is the best way, the alternative gets called "dude style."

Some examples of dude style:

Drinking milk out of the carton

Going outside in the cold or rain with no jacket

Riding bikes with no helmet

Not washing hands before meals

Sleeping with as little clothes on as possible

When I ask Mitchell if he would like to get his jacket on before we go pick up Ben at school, he replies, "Nah... I'll just go 'dude style'."

When I ask Ben where his pajamas are and why he woke up almost naked in the morning: "I was hot so I slept 'dude style'."

"I couldn't reach a cup, so I drank some milk 'dude style'!"

I'm sure I am missing out on many things by not having any other little females in my family, but my dudes sure do seem like the perfect fit for me as a mother. I do have to admit, "dude style" does seem the way to go sometimes...

That Is Why I Do The Packing

I am sitting here, on a Saturday morning, all alone. My house is clean, there are no cartoons on, no monsters stomping around or jumping from couch to couch, and no left-over smell of greasy bacon lingering around the house. Jack is having his "alone time" in his room (called this because he doesn't always sleep, but always amuses himself anyways, so we keep this routine going for now) and I am sitting here feeling lonely.

Matt took the boys on a "dude weekend" to watch/coach a track and field event. They were very excited to do this with dad and yesterday, wanted to get the packing process started. While they didn't really have any thoughts on what clothes to put in their bag, they had plenty of opinions on what else should go with them. First thing in the bag was their swim suits. Neither of my boys love water, but for some reason, are extremely pumped about the fact that they will be staying in a hotel with a swimming pool.

After that detail was taken care of, Ben picked out his blankie and a small bag of dragons, plus his giant monster pillow that I made him and was finished. That was all he needed. Mitchell, however, was just getting started. I'm not sure how long he thinks he will be gone, but he basically wanted to put his entire room in their small duffel bag! He was grabbing toys off the shelves and half a dozen pairs of socks out of his drawer. His giant ghost pillow which is about half as big as he is had to go, of course, and he thought he might need a few books, so was busy pulling more and more off the shelf and piling them up. For a while, he gave some thought to how he might fit his new scooter in the bag.

After I gently reminded him that not only would he only be gone one night, but he would be busy "helping" daddy at the track meet and wouldn't really need too much clothes or toys, we managed to avoid most of what he had set aside to go in the bag.

But the duffel bag was just bag one going with them. Mitchell also wanted to be involved in what kind of "dude snacks" they brought with them! I love how involved he was with this so we sat down and had a little conversation about what he would like to have to eat for snacks in the car and at the meet.

These are the things he came up with:

bacon

eggs

his new candy machine

salami

Gatorade

jerky

milk

yogurt

chips and salsa

I think he was trying to think of "dude" foods or something, because many of these are his and Matt's favorites!

I did put some Gatorade and jerky in his bag, and explained to him why the rest might not be the best choices for a road trip. But just think if I had let him pack! Matt would probably be happy...

The Exercise Game

Matt and the boys have started a new nightly routine: they call it "The Exercise Game." It's a "dude thing," which means no moms allowed, but I was privileged to get to observe tonight. I don't laugh out loud very often, so this was quite a treat for me!

The rules are pretty simple: draw a card from a deck and whatever number you get, that is the number of times you perform an exercise of your choice. Matt, Ben, and Mitchell take turns drawing cards and coming up with an exercise for them all to do.

Tonight, they did 21 different exercises. Don't think young boys can come up with that many different types of exercise? Well, they began with some normal sounding ones such as squats, leg-lifts, push-ups, and lunges, but then started getting a bit more creative. Ben's turns resulted in exercises named dinosaur leg lifts and pooping dogs, but at least the activity to go with them closely resembled a more traditional type of exercise.

Mitchell's turns got funnier and funnier (to me at least. The guys were all taking them quite seriously.) He invented exercises with names like breeps, proos, bleems, and blaxopes; and the corresponding actions to go with these names were even funnier. There were spin moves and jumps and kicks and flexing, always with claw-like fingers and sound effects. He'd draw his number card, invent his exercise, demonstrate it to the other two, and around the living room they'd go - mimicking Mitchell's every move, as if it was a perfectly normal exercise routine. It was hilarious!

The nightly exercise game is always followed by a glass of milk (to help the muscles grow, doncha know) and some good "dude talk." Oh, it was an entertaining evening.

I Guess Some Rules Are Just Mom's Rules

I never quite know what to expect on the weekend when Matt is home and playing with the boys. The boys get to do things with daddy that I would never even think of letting them do.  I have many reasons why certain things are not allowed, among them safety concerns and more often, trying to keep the messiness to a minimum.  

But when I am gone and daddy takes over for a while, they get a bit...creative and always end up doing something that is borderline naughty.  I don't think Matt or the boys sit down and think, "Now, which rule can we break and what will make the most mess here?"  I think Matt just turns back into a little kid himself and they don't alway think about what I would do or allow if I were around.  I always return home to find plenty of laughing and often quite a mess.

This time, the mess was minimal, and they cracked me up, showing me that some rules really are only in place because I don't want the mess or clean-up, not because of a real right-and-wrong issue.  I am OK with some rules being bent when daddy is in charge.  Why not have special things to do only during "dude time?" 

They were all upstairs and when they heard that I was home, there was plenty of shushing and whispering, "Dad!  Mom's home!  Shhh!"  They snuck to the top of the stairs and then called me over to check them out.  They had decided facial hair could not wait a few more years, so they got out the non-permanent markers (I have to hand it to Matt for finding these markers instead of the Sharpies) and speeded up puberty a bit (yes, Matt is still awaiting puberty when it comes to facial hair as well.)

Notice them proudly clutching their weapons of defacement here.  The look on their faces says, "Mom, we are getting into so much mischief and daddy helped us!"  True true, boys.  You would never have gotten this one past me had you asked me first.  Good thing you have a dad who loves mischief almost as much as you do and who encourages you to be the crazy boys you are.  Don't try this one when I'm around though, and don't let me catch you drawing on Jack!

Guess We Ran Out of Seats...

Matt was home all morning this morning (yay!) so I headed off to the gym to enjoy some time to myself at a normal hour for such activities (as apposed to 6am or 8pm.)  When I returned home, I quietly came in the back entry, so no one heard me coming.  When I entered the living room, I found all 4 of my "dudes" having a great time together in a way that never happens when the lone female/stick-in-the-mud is around.

Does this look like an appropriate place to sit - especially for a baby?  No, I didn't think so, but they had daddy right there and so enjoy their "dude time" with him.  Who am I to question how a father and son tempt fate?  I have to trust that he was ready to catch humpty dumpty when he decided to "have a great fall."