The Great Idea

Ben brought two of his buddies home with him from school today - the "playdate" I've been avoiding all year because, well... I prefer my kids to go play at someone else's house and usually succeed in making that happen when the idea of a playdate gets floated by me.

But today I decided, since Ben has been asking all year, I'd kill two birds with one stone and have two boys over at once.

And... it's raining.  Great.  What do I do with my three boys plus two more eight-year-olds for two hours in the house?

I was coming up with nothing in the idea department so I turned to them and asked what they'd like to do together.  Apparently, they had already been discussing and planning because Ben was quick to answer:

"Well, do you have any extra watermelons?  Because we were thinking we could take one up onto the roof and throw it off so we could watch it splat into a million pieces."  All 5 boys then began pleading with me to give them my "extra" watermelon and help them climb out onto the roof to pull off this grand scheme.

In the end, I had to tell them that it just wasn't going to work out because I only have the one watermelon and that was intended for them to eat.  They were a tad disappointed.  But they still ate an entire watermelon and seemed to enjoy just talking about how great it would have been if only mom had remembered to buy two watermelons instead of one.

Executions

Ben and Mitchell are buds.  Best buds.  If asked who their best friends are, they both claim each other are.  They usually play wonderfully together and come up with some pretty fantastically imaginative games to play.  Sometimes Jack is invited to join.  Sometimes not.

All it takes to mess up this relationship though is the addition of a third kid.  Suddenly, sides are being taken.  Good guy and bad guy roles get handed out.  Competitions begin.  Battle lines are drawn.

The boys had their adorable cousin staying with them all week and I began to here a lot about exclusions.  Two of them would gang up on the other one and loyalties were constantly changing.  I just couldn't keep up anymore and banished them to the basement to figure it out.

It did begin to get funny though as Mitchell tried to assimilate the new word "exclusion" into his vocabulary.  He kept coming to me, defeated, complaining that once again, Ben had executed him.  Poor kid.  He was executed repeatedly over the week.

Junkyard Wars: The Jet

Ben and Mitchell have a new obsession.  Remember that show Junkyard Wars from a few years back? The series where teams of people run around a junk yard, collecting bits and pieces to put together something, quite frankly, a little unbelievable?

Ben and Mitchell are fascinated.  And they think if only they had access to a junk yard, all their dreams of building, owning, and operating a jet powered trike would come true.  It looks so simple to them, and it gets their imaginations bursting at the seams.

Just a few nights ago, after school, it was dinner time and getting dark and chilly out.  Dinner was ready and getting cold, but I just couldn't bear to stop the boys from what they were doing.  They had emptied out the garage, finding stuff I didn't even know what in there, busily building a two-man jet.  They weren't quite finished adding improvements to it and were having the time of their lives.  This time, I let dinner get cold.  That's what a microwave is for.  They played until past dark.  But they built their jet.

Mission accomplished!

Cookies for Babo

You know your kids have amazing imaginations (or perhaps take their toys too seriously) when they actually save portions of real treats for them.

I stopped at Starbucks for a not-so-unusual cookie and coffee date with my boys.  They each ordered a giant chocolate chip cookie (yum...)  and I had a few minutes to sit and enjoy my coffee.  We love our Starbucks dates.  Gives us a good chance to catch up on our running game of "I Spy."  They also like to throw crumbs to the birds.  Well, I think they may be throwing crumbs at the birds, but... hey, the birds get a treat in the end!

When the boys announced they were ready to go, I noticed they had both saved a sizable chunk of their cookies and were carefully placing them back in their bags.  When I asked what was wrong, (there must be something wrong if they are not finishing their cookie!!) they informed me that they were bringing home some of their cookies to share with Babo.

"Babo LOVES cookies, mom!  That's all he eats!  And he makes them and eats them and we want to share ours with him so we're bringing some home!"

Who is Babo?  Well, I'm glad you asked.  He is one of the many creatures hiding in Ben and Mitchell's beds.  He is, in fact, an Ugly Doll, and apparently, he loves cookies!  Who knew?

So there you have it.  Ben and Mitchell love Babo so much that they actually brought home cookies for him.  I forgot to check if Babo ate them or not...

Known By Another Name

During lunch today, we were having some serious conversations; the kind of discussions very important to 3 young boys and their mom.

Ben: Mom, what is my middle finger called?

Me: what do you mean? Who told you it has a name??

Ben: Oh, no one. It's just that my thumb has a name and my pinky has a name and my pointer has a name... I just wanted to know what my middle finger is called.

Me: Well... I've heard it called things before but I don't really want to explain it to you.

Ben: Oh yeah! It's the RUDE finger! The one guys use to be rude! Like a naughty word! I'm going to call it "Rude Dude!"

Me: I think that is just perfect, Ben.

Mosquito Lunch

Ben and Mitchell have a theory worked out concerning mosquitos.  Care to hear it?  It's pretty good.

Seems like out of all of us, Mitchell gets by far the most mosquito bites. Jack gets his fair share.  Ben hardly gets any.

As we drove home today, I heard them working out their hypothesis.

Ben: Mitchell, you must get the most mosquito bites because your blood tastes like dessert!

Mitchell: Then you must taste like vegetables!  Like mashed potatoes! (if you know us at all, you know mashed potatoes are the most disgusting food imaginable to my boys)

Ben: But what about Jack?  He gets some but not a TON like you.  He must be.... he must be like fruit! Or like lunch!

Jack: No!!  I'm NOT lunch!  I'm just Jack!  Mom!  He called me lunch!

Mitchell: Yeah... he's lunch...

So apparently, dessert is the best, mashed potatoes are the worst, and in the middle somewhere is... lunch?

A New Way To Fight

Ah, summer... So much fun in so many ways, but so much time... together.  I like to try to insist my three boys NEVER fight or bicker, but somehow, I seem to be unsuccessful in my dream of peace and quiet so far...

Don't get me wrong, my boys are buds.  For the most part, they just love having each other around.  They share a lot of the same interests and when forced to choose between playing together more civilly or separating, they always choose to stay together.

But they bicker.  They push each other's buttons.  They pester.  Today, Ben even proclaimed, "Mom, one of the things that steals my joy is when Mitchell pesters me!  And also not being able to go to the pool..."

I thought I had seen all the ways they get at each other, but this afternoon, I witnessed a new one: they fought through drawing pictures.

As I came into the kitchen, they were right in the middle of a big fight with, yes, pictures!  Ben was drawing Mitchell crashing in his spaceship, to which Mitchell responded by scribbling Ben out of his picture.  Ben retaliated by putting a dress on Mitchell, which really got Mitchell mad so he drew dog poop on Ben's head.  Ben made a club list that he pointed out did NOT have Mitchell's name on it.  Mitchell can't write very well yet, so he just wrote Ben's name and scribbled all over it.

This went on for a while until Mitchell was drawing on Ben's arm and then ended up knocked to the floor.

Ah, summer... Guess we'll go to the pool after all!

Third Best Friend

How many best friends can one boy have?

Well, if you are my Ben, you attract a lot of best friends.  One of his strongest abilities is his ease in making friends.  He loves everyone and it seems everyone loves him as well.

I remember his kindergarten teacher last year telling me that she finally had to set up a rotation system during "circle time" so that enough kids got the chance to sit by him.  Too many arguments were erupting at story time.

This year, yet again, we have a brand new location, brand new school, brand new teacher, brand new friends, same old problem: too many kids want to be his best friend.

This was humorously pointed out at his birthday party last weekend.

I know it is not always done to open presents during the birthday party, but Ben insisted this be part of the "schedule" of his party, so the shirtless and soggy boys (shirtless and soggy from the fairly intense water fight they had) all crowded as close to Ben as possible, each shoving their presents in his face, encouraging him to "Open mine first, Ben!  You're going to LOVE it!"

The gifts were all perfect; just what a 7-year old boy dreams of: transformers, legos, light sabers, and spy gear.  He was quite pleased with the loot.

What really got to Matt and me though was one of the cards.  It read

"Dear Ben,
Happy Birthday
Your third friend
Jake"

When we saw that card, Matt and I just laughed.  I asked Jake what "third friend" meant and he clearly explained that although Mitchell is his "first best friend" and Luke is his "second best friend," he proudly boasted possessing the title of "third best friend!"

At this point, the other boys chimed in with their placings:

"Yeah!  I'm his 5th best friend!"

"I'm his 4th!"

"No you're not, I am!"

Clearly, they have all sorted this out before and most of them have no problem with their standings.  Each are pretty happy just to be in there somewhere.

The Fun is in the Wrapping!

My big boy just got a whole year older! It's true! He aged a year overnight! He went to bed only six years old, and woke up a 7-year-old! Pretty sure that is the way my kids picture getting older. It's a fun notion.

I just have to say, that although Ben loves his birthday - the attention, the gifts, the cake and ice cream, just "feeling special," I think Mitchell might love his birthday just as much!

All throughout the week leading up to the big day, Mitchell was busy busy. Finding treasures and wrapping them up. It was sweet that he was picking out treasures from his collection, but the ways he wrapped them was so cute! He used cardboard and colored paper; paper plates and napkins; electrical tape and about an entire roll of scotch tape.

When gift opening time came, these gifts had to come first. He just couldn't wait to deliver them to Ben. We had to go all over the house, retrieving the gifts from their hiding places he stashed them in. He had so many hidden that we even missed one. I just found it on my shoe shelf in my closet.

I am so thankful my boys have brothers. I pray nothing ever comes or stays between them.

The Troubles Of A Two-Year-Old

My boys have a pretty amazing lives. Unless I am seriously missing something, they are not lacking in many areas of life. Although we allow them to be boys - adventurous, messy, a little crazy, sometimes loud, and even almost dangerous at times, we provide everything they need and love and care for them with all we've got. Their lives are secure.

Despite this security, unconditional love, and comfort in life, they still have their own brand of troubles. Ben hates confrontation. He hates it when someone - anyone - is unhappy or upset. He is a secret perfectionist: doesn't, at first glance, seem terribly competitive, but is very tough on himself in reality.

Mitchell hates sharing food. If I take a bite of an apple, he won't come near it. If I take a pretzel out of his bag, he will pass on snack time. He loves physical attention and hugs and snuggles, but prefers not to be kissed. Even knowing this, I kiss him when I just can't help it. After every kiss, he wipes it off. He hates the idea of slobber, even when it is the driest kiss I can manage.

Jack, being the hilarious age he is, has the funniest troubles in life. Boogers. Jack cannot abide "boogies" Every morning, when I get him out of bed, he at some point rubs his nose, feels the crusties inside, and panics. "Mom! I have boogies! Get my boogies!" Try as I may, I cannot convince my youngest child to pick his own nose. This leaves me literally picking Jack's nose for him not just every morning, but multiple times throughout the day.

He also can't stand his socks being "crooked." I am not sure what this actually means, but often, I just don't quite put his sock on correctly, and his whole world falls apart. Until I tug and pull and twist and shift that sock sufficiently, life is unbearable.

One more thing he hates (and this is my favorite) is when his shirt gets shifted up at all. If we are playing or wrestling or... doing anything really and his shirt happens to come up above his belly button... oh man... STOP EVERYTHING! "Oh no!!! My belly is stickin' out!" He just hates his belly to show...

I may feel I have trouble in life, but at least I can pick my own nose, have no sock issues and my shirt isn't constantly ridin' up. Perspective...

Ugly Doll Play Dates

My boys love each other. I'll admit, sometimes they fight. Sometimes they just can't seem to pull it together and love each other. Sometimes the tattling gets out of control. I occasionally have to separate them to remind them how much nicer it is to be together than apart.

But they always beg to be let out of isolation to get back to each other. They are best buddies, whether they admit it or not.

One evidence of their love of each other and bond they share despite anything that may have happened between them is how excited they are to share a bedroom and bunkbeds. Even years after they began sharing a room, they still get a kick out of it. Every night, after lights are out and mom and dad have said goodnight, they invent fun together. They just can't seem to get enough of silliness and fun at this time.

One of their favorite after bedtime games is called "Ugly Doll Play Date." If you are not familiar with Ugly Dolls, they are simply monster stuffed animals and my boys love them. They each have a few of them. They love to gather them up at night, climb up into the top bunk, and set up some sort of organized play date. I never stick around to find out exactly what goes on in these play dates, but I come in to break it up at some point and they are always in full swing with no intention of slowing down.

What an amazing thing to have a built in best friend who is with you no matter where you go or what your family does. As they grow up, they will have many opportunities to grow apart. It is one of my hearts deepest desires to see them only grow closer together in their brotherly bond (although, at some point, I suppose I hope they aren't still having Ugly Doll play dates...)

Pure Awesomeness

Matt tells me that I do too much for our boys; things such as helping them dress, tying their shoes, pouring their cereal, brushing their teethe. I do realize the older two can do most of things without me, but I am usually trying to get out the door in some sort of time limit and I want their teethe actually clean so...

But I do try to let them do more things for themselves. I try to plan a few extra minutes into getting ready to allow for me to have more patience in this area.

It isn't just about being more patient with them learning though, it is having the ability to laugh at the results sometimes. I let Ben pick out and put on his own clothes this morning, and when he came downstairs, he looked great! I was so proud of him and he did it so quickly! It wasn't until after school, when he took his shoes off, that I noticed his pure awesomeness:

Like I said, pure awesomeness...

Mom and Dad the Spies

As we have had the pleasure of having our house full of family for the holidays, Matt and I decided to take advantage of them a couple days ago and go for a run together rather than taking turns.

After changing into some running duds, we came downstairs in our semi-matching outfits of black spandex and black tops and black hats, Ben took one look at us and said, "Hey! You guys match! You're wearing the same thing! Hah!" I felt a tad foolish after this so I said, "Yeah, you're right, we do match. It's a little lame." Ben responded by saying, "No way! You look like spies!"

I love that kid...

Late Night Discussions

My boys stayed up later than Matt and I did last night. The excitement over their first sleep-over was just too high to wind down and I drifted off to sleep hearing them still going strong in their room.

Before I gave up trying to wait them out, I tiptoed down the hall to spy on them, just to make sure no one had a sleeping bag on their head or were sleeping naked or all the lights on with legos dumped everywhere. One quick peak told me they were obediently bundled in their sleeping bags, Ben and Mitch on either side of their buddy, lights off (besides flash lights and light sabers), and fully discussing some pretty important topics that needed straightening out:

Ben: Man, I really HATE zombies!

Mitchell: Yeah! Because they chop your heads off and eat your brains!

Jake: But zombies aren't even real!

Ben: Well, that's true.... But if they were real, I'd really HATE them!

Mitchell: Hey Jake! Did you know that people actually EAT brains? They do! Not people brains, but cow brains! And hearts too!

Jake: Yeah! And lungs too!

Ben & Mitchell: No!!! You can't eat lungs!!

Jake: Yes you can! I ate a chicken lung! It had a lot of air in it....

Ben & Mitchell: *laughing*

Ben: But ghosts are not real either even though kids at school think they are. Man, they are so wrong! DEAD wrong!

I sensed perhaps the conversation was going to circle back here, so I quietly walked back down the hall to report to Matt and we had a good chuckle at the important discussions of our boys.

Farewell To Football, Late Nights, and Port-a-potties!

Ben's last football game was last weekend. It's funny; it sorta snuck up on him. When I told him about a month ago that we were almost done with football for this year, he said, "What? Why is it over? We don't just keep playing all year long?"

Oh man... as much as I loved having him play, I can't imagine doing this all year long! Ben and I jumped into this with both feet, not quite expecting so many hours spent at practice every week. Ben was great though, and I dealt with it. He loved it. What a great outlet for him to play rough and play like a big boy should!

As proud as I am of Ben and all the progress he made, I have to give Mitchell and Jack some props too. Every hour Ben spent at practice, the other two boys spent there with him. They ate many dinners on the ground and got more bug bites than I could count. They dug giant holes in the dirt and filled their socks with sand to use as sand bombs. I wish I had a way to measure how much dirt we took home from that park. Mitchell learned the hard way that when you refuse to use the clean, flushable toilet at home, you are forced to use the "stinky toilet with no flusher" while trying to hold your breath, not look into the deep hole, and not touch anything all at the same time. They both made friends and ate a lot of ice cream from the ever-present ice cream truck. Way to be so adaptable and be there for your big brother, little guys!

Optimus Prime's Secret Weapon Against Man Stench

Have I mentioned that Ben will be Optimus Prime, the Transformer, for Halloween? He has had the costume for weeks now, but has been a bit lonely as an Autobot. As his trusty sidekick, Bumblebee, has had to only pretend to be an Autobot, he usually tires of being a transformer long before Ben is ready to end the game.

Well, for the sake of harmony (and adding minutes or even hours to play time that doesn't involve mom), I finally bought Mitchell a Bumblebee costume. He will still be an astronaut for Halloween, but I deemed an extra costume a necesity, so I got it!

Let me tell you, it was a great decision! The boys do everything as transformers together now!

The one downside to these costumes is the fact that they are not very breathable or machine washable. They specifically say to hand wash and line dry them. Lame. I don't even buy clothes for myself with those care instructions!

So what is a mom to do when her two crazy boys not only wear their onesie suits constantly, but wrestle in them? Febreeze to the rescue, once again!

I tell you, when I discovered that Mitchell was actually naked underneath that suit the other day, I thought, "this is trash now. I will never get that man stench out!" Ben wearing just underwear under his suit wasn't much better in the whole stinky, smelly, boy smell area. I Febreezed the you-know-what out of those bad boys!

I should be in a commercial...

Fetch, Fetch!

Ben came home in the funniest mood today. He was bursting with energy (more so than usual) and was being so contagiously silly. Where he gets the energy for this sort of thing in the second half of the day, I have no idea. It must be that getting-out-of-school freedom feeling. I remember it from my school days, but I also remember falling asleep in the car on the way home quite a bit too...

Anyways, like I said, he was being quite silly. So silly, in fact, that he decided he was going to be a dog the rest of the day and we were required to call him Fetch. Can you guess what Fetch's favorite game is? Fetch! Mitchell kept throwing a large stick for him, while I threw the frisbee. Ben would pick it up and come bounding back, drop it at our feet, and whine or bark for more with his tounge hanging out. Even Jack got in on the game by chasing him around yelling, "Fetch! Come, Fetch! Come here, doggy!" and petting him with "nice pets."

So when Matt asks what I did today, I can tell him I literally played fetch with my son, I mean, dog, Fetch!

A Few New Best Friends

Why I ever worry about my kids making friends is a question I don't have the answer for. Every time we move, I loose sleep over it. Every time school starts up again, I send up constant little prayers for them while they are gone. Every time they are in a position where they have to start over again, I worry, yet my unease is unnecessary. They are old pros.

Ben has already got his little "gang" at school and has already been to many of their houses to play. I love to watch him run around with them after school, just enjoying his life and experiencing something so special to him that is not dependent on his mom. I love to stand back and just watch him play.

Jack, although full of attitude that may one day hinder him in this area, charms people everywhere we go. Kids love him, moms love him, old people love him, even the occasional dad will get sucked in! His short little sentences and charming displays of politeness at just the right time almost make me think he knows exactly what he is doing when he works a room (or a playground.)

Mitchell, my most complicated boy, is making quite a few new friends as well. Although there are three or four little boys at school that are his favorites, they don't even make his Top 3 list. Those spots are reserved for adults: two moms and a neighbor. This morning, on the way to school, I asked him who he was going to play with today. He said, "Oh, I don't know. Probably some kids. But do you know who my best friends are? Stephani, Susan, and Kevin!"

Stephani is a mom of a couple boys who are not in either of my boys' classes but who we see at the school playground every day. Susan is the mom of one of Ben's football teammates. Kevin is our neighbor.

For some reason, Mitchell is most himself around adults - especially adults who really seem to get him and know all the right things to ask and say. He would follow Kevin around all day if I let him and they do all sorts of little projects and discuss all manner of important things.

We spend quite a bit of time every week at football practice and I don't know what I would have done with Mitchell had we not met Susan. They treasure hunt together and talk about football and tell jokes.

He is so fond of Stephani that she came up to me at the park last week saying, "Did you know Mitchell just invited me over for a play date at your house today?" I asked him about it and he said, "Well, Ben gets to have his best friends over and I really really want to show her all my treasures! Please can she come home with us??"

Oh Mitchell. You are the spice of life...

Feeling Unspecial

One of the draw-backs to not having all your kids in the same school is that sometimes, one of them has a day off when the other one doesn't. Today is one of those days. Ben is off, Mitchell is not.

Matt and I thought it would be fun and special for him to be able to go to work with daddy all day. He is old enough to be able to do this on a real work day. During the times when Matt has to get work done, Ben can read silently, play computer games, draw pictures, and hang out with co-workers easily.

I gave him the choice of staying home, sleeping in, staying in his jammies all morning, and watching some cartoons or going with dad. He immediately chose "go with dad!!!"

Mitchell chose that option as well. Poor guy. I had to explain to him that he couldn't go along because he still had school. He was just crushed. He moped around all day yesterday and then this morning, when Ben and Matt were getting ready, he just kinda slumped down, bordering on tears. (Real tears are a pretty big deal with Mitchell - very rare.)

He even ran up the driveway, following them as far as the street as they drove away, then just stood there watching for a few minutes.

He came back inside and said, "Mom? I'm special too! Howcome I don't get something so special like Ben?" I explained to him that although he was just as special to us, sometimes things are more special when things aren't exactly even - when it seems unfair. Sometimes, in order to understand when something is really special, you have to also know what it is like to feel... well, unspecial. He didn't get it. He is nothing if not stubborn - his thoughts and ideas are no exception.

I tried to make every day life a little more "special" for Mitchell today without buying him things and trying to make up for what Ben got to do. Someday it will be reversed and Mitchell will be the one getting special treatment. Perhaps then he will get it.

In the mean time, I've got a mopey little boy, waiting for his big brother and his dad to get home so he can stop feeling so left out.

Early Morning Shouting Match

My boys are strange. They prefer to be woken up early on a school morning in order to get a little extra playing in. If, for some reason, they get up late and we don't have time for that play session, but they have to head right out the door after breakfast, they look at me stricken and ask why they can't play first. As if I have taken something away and am punishing them!

So school has started again, and with it has come the reinstatement of early morning play date for my boys. It usually goes pretty smoothly, but this morning I had to put a stop to it. As I was upstairs getting dressed, the noise level downstairs hit an all-time high. What it sounded like was all three boys shouting at the same time.

That is exactly what it was, in fact. Jack had gotten into something he shouldn't have, and when Ben tried to get it away from him, he began yelling (as usual.) In order to be heard over Jack's noise, Ben shouted a little louder, "no no!" Mitchell must have felt left out at this point because by the time I got down there, all three boys were sitting in a circle, a few feet apart, all yelling at one another. Each one was trying to out-do the other in the noise department.

Needless to say, the rest of their precious before school play time was spent with each of them in separate rooms. Stay with me, sanity!