Exactly!

Jack is well-loved on the playground. This I have stated before. The moms love him and he's got a whole group of girls who follow him around, doing whatever he demands. If he wants them to chase him, they chase him. If he wants to walk WAY over to the rainbow on the wall, they dutifully walk over there with him. If he wants to make bark hamburgers and ice cream, they pretend to eat it with him.

Of course, sometimes, he has had enough of the girls and just wants something a little more real - like warmer hands, food not made of dirt or bark, a drink of water, a kiss after he's fallen down, or, in yesterday's case, a can of seltzer water.

My friend was just carrying this half-full can of fizzy water around, torturing poor Jack with it. As I was talking to her for some time, he had plenty of time to notice it, want it, and repeatedly ask for it. As it wasn't mine to give him, I told him I'd find him some water elsewhere, but she stepped in and offered the rest of the can to him. I let him have it, fully expecting him to dislike the bitter fizziness.

His reaction to it was priceless: He took a tentative sip, smacked his lips, sighed, and said, "Ahh... Exactly!"

He then wiggled to get down and carried the can around the area, taking tiny sips and savoring each one in a similar manner. Not quite ready to be done running around, he did keep leaving it with me with the instructions "Keep it safe, mommy! Don't drink it!" and would come running back to me later in a panic crying, "Where's my drink?!"

There are clearly some very simple ways into my youngest child's heart.

Farewell To Football, Late Nights, and Port-a-potties!

Ben's last football game was last weekend. It's funny; it sorta snuck up on him. When I told him about a month ago that we were almost done with football for this year, he said, "What? Why is it over? We don't just keep playing all year long?"

Oh man... as much as I loved having him play, I can't imagine doing this all year long! Ben and I jumped into this with both feet, not quite expecting so many hours spent at practice every week. Ben was great though, and I dealt with it. He loved it. What a great outlet for him to play rough and play like a big boy should!

As proud as I am of Ben and all the progress he made, I have to give Mitchell and Jack some props too. Every hour Ben spent at practice, the other two boys spent there with him. They ate many dinners on the ground and got more bug bites than I could count. They dug giant holes in the dirt and filled their socks with sand to use as sand bombs. I wish I had a way to measure how much dirt we took home from that park. Mitchell learned the hard way that when you refuse to use the clean, flushable toilet at home, you are forced to use the "stinky toilet with no flusher" while trying to hold your breath, not look into the deep hole, and not touch anything all at the same time. They both made friends and ate a lot of ice cream from the ever-present ice cream truck. Way to be so adaptable and be there for your big brother, little guys!

Just Checking

Today, my sister and I took our kids to Central Park to play around at the water fountains (the ones made for kids, not the other ones I would get busted for putting my kids in, of course.) They had a great time running around, getting wet, and climbing the big rocks.

After a while, Mitchell decided he was getting cold so came and sat in the sun with me to warm up. At one point, I glanced over at him and he was looking down his shorts, clearly searching for something. When I asked him what he was doing in there, he said, "Oh, nothing really. Don't worry about it. Just checking my balls for hair. There isn't any. Guess I'm not a man yet."

When Is It Ok to Fight?

Matt and I somewhat disagree on how our boys should handle disagreements and physical altercations with other kids.  Matt is pretty decided that if someone is rough with you or your brother, you get rough back.  I, as the mother (and the one who is likely there when it happens and actually has to defend my methods against the other kid and mother involved), have slightly different ideas as to how it should go down.  Actually, to be honest, I don't really have a good idea how it should be handled.  I'm still working on it.

I had better start working a bit harder on figuring out a game plan on this whole issue though.  Today, we had a bit of a fight at the park.  One of Ben's friends was upset at Ben so tried to turn Mitchell against him.  Ben, not used to Mitchell not wanting to play with him and choosing someone else over him, was beside himself.  He finally got to the point where he was physically holding Mitchell, with both arms around him, trying to keep him from following this other boy.  He just could not believe that Mitchell would pick someone else over him and leave him out.  His hurt feeling toward Mitchell over this turned to anger toward the other boy and I could see his anger brewing as he followed after the boys, telling Mitchell he was making poor decisions.  

I stepped in before things got any worse and actually left the park altogether, as I felt the boys and I needed the peace and quiet of our own  backyard, uninterrupted by any other kids or their moms to talk over what was happening.  Ben really was upset that he couldn't "win" Mitchell in this game of tug-of-war with his friend.  I reminded them both that, while they were allowed to have their own friends and didn't always have to play together, that they also were each other's best friends and they should always stick up for each other and not let any other kid come between them or make one of them upset like this.  

What would I have done if the fight had gotten more physical with the other boy - if Ben had decided he didn't want his little brother to be drug away from him and then told not to play with him anymore and started shoving or punching?  To be honest, I would have been happy to see Ben fighting for his brother in such a way and proud that he was brave enough to stand up to the other boy in this way, but also would have cringed at the sight of my little boy hitting someone.  Where does one draw the line?  What is OK to teach our little boys about standing up for oneself and one's brother?  Certainly, at some point, a little boy needs to be able to defend himself.  On the other hand, I don't encourage violence in any way.  

This incident has not helped me in any way.  I still have no game plan here.  I am still uncertain as to how to deal with the toughness training of little boys.  I am still working on it.

The good thing that came from today's skirmish is that the boys are in agreement as to how to handle this specific situation again.  They "talked it out" and decided that they will never play with another kid who is purposely trying to upset the other.  As soon as we got home, they were best friends again.  No harm done.  They had a taste of being pulled in opposite directions and didn't like it.  Oh, to be a young child again and not have any desire to form or inability to let go of a grudge.  I hope you two boys (and Jack someday too) remain able to "work things out" like this and always remain the best of friends.  Stand up for yourselves, stand up for each other, and we will figure out the specifics of what that actually means as we need to.  

Not Off To A Very Good Start

My boys have yet to learn how to play with girls.  Now I realize you don't really have to "learn" to play with girls any more than you need to with other boys, but since we have no "girls" in our family (I don't count, apparently), my boys need some extra encouragement to even realize girls their age exist!  I don't know if it is normal for this age boy to stick to his own kind and if girls do it as well.  I really have nothing to compare it to since I only have boys of a certain age, but they really seem completely ignorant of the fairer sex.  For example, they play a lot of father/son games.  All their dinosaurs, cars, dragons, etc all get divided into two categories: "dads" and "sons."  I hear them playing their imaginitive games in their room, calling "Hey, son!" and "Yeah, dad?"  Never is there a mom or a sister or a neighbor girl or even a serving wench!  Like I said, their world is suspiciously lacking in that area.

It doesn't help that their last couple "run-ins" with girls have not been entirely pleasant.  Twice now in the last week, we have come across "Bossy boots" at the park.  Two different girls on two different days at two different parks have taken it upon themselves to monitor my boys' behavior.  They have followed us around, pointing out all the dangerous activities they are involved in, telling them the "rules of the park according to her," and even trying to physically stop them from playing in certain ways.  Both times, this girl bit off a bit more than she could chew with team Mitchell and Ben, but it has stuck with them enough that they came up with the name "bossy boots" for girls and I can't help but think this hasn't helped their avoidance of girls in general.  

I have tried to explain to them that not all girls are like this - bossy, that is, but they don't believe me.  When I reminded them that I am a girl and asked if they thought I was bossy too, Ben said, "Mom, you are not a girl, you are a mom, and you are bossy!"  One look at my face, and he changed his statement a bit: "Well, you are the boss, but not always bossy.  Is that the same thing?"  

Oh boys, I guess we can be a bit bossy.  Get used to it, but don't take too much of it!  Maybe we are off to a good start after all...

Just Like It Used To Be

Mitchell is beginning to recover from his sickness, but as he continues to sleep it off, Ben and I have had a lot more time together, just the two of us, and it has been so fun!  After I get the little guys settled down for a nap and Ben and I have both had a small "alone time," we spend the rest of the time together in a way we rarely get anymore.  He has read me simple stories, we have made paper dragons, soaked our feet in buckets of cold water on the patio (not sure where and why he came up with that idea, but it did feel nice!), laid around talking, and made tons of fun little snacks (I get mighty hungry during this part of the day!)

This middle part of my day is usually when I brew my second pot of coffee, and Ben, wanting to be a part of that as well, wanted us to make the drinks a bit more special this time.  Now this was a lot more work than just pouring a nice, hot, black cup of coffee for myself, but his way was a yummy change in the routine.  His choice was a hot chocolate "latte" for himself and a latte with cinnamon for me.  Mmmm...

I don't think I made his quite hot 

enough though because he downed that thing in about 1 minute!

Another treat we discovered in our special time together was a new favorite way for him to eat watermelon!  He loves it any way you prepare it (I think he'd dig right into a whole melon with his fingers if I let him - maybe we'll try that one day!), but this way delighted him for some reason.  We cut the end off and made it into a bowl for him, then he used a fruit spoon to dig it out.   He got 

quite a kick out of that cerated edge on the spoon and also loved to drink the juice out of the bowl when all the 

fruit was gone!  It is so easy to entertain this kid!

Being alone with Ben for a couple hours every day has reminded me of how it was for us before my other two joined the party.  It can be so easy sometimes to just take care of one big kid!  Sometimes, at the park or other public place full of kids and parents, I watch the mom or dad who is there with just one kid.  You can always tell which ones they are because they are busy building a sand castle in the sandbox, or pushing the child on the swing endlessly, or following the child tirelessly from one toy to the next, fully participating in whatever game is going on.  I envy that parent at that point and wish my kids could each have my undivided attention, but I am lucky if I can keep them all in one area of the park for long enough to kick my shoes off!  Just when Mitchell has decided we are playing trucks in the sandbox, Ben needs a push on the swing and Jack has crawled off and gotten himself stuck under the slide again!  "One child mommy" does not have this problem, but she also doesn't have the ability to sit back and let the kids entertain themselves and feel the pride and satisfaction that brings.  I suppose there are some children out there who don't need a playmate and who easily entertain themselves, but not many I'd bet.  Just when I start feeling badly that each of my boys could use a bit more of my time, I see them band together and have so much fun doing it!  So while I do envy "one child mommy" occasionally, most of the time I feel so blessed to have my two older boys so close in age and so happy with each other!  A lot more would be required of me as a playmate had Mitchell not come around when he did!

Maybe We Could Take a Corvette?

After "quiet time" today, the boys and I sat in the living room talking about the rest of our day and what we should do with it.  Ben suggested we go to the park and Mitchell quickly agreed that that was a good idea.  Just walking to the park wasn't quite enough for him though.  He said to me, "Maybe we could take a Corvette there?"  I asked him where we were going to find a Corvette and he said, "We could look in someone's garage and find one!"  I'm not sure where the idea of a Corvette came from, but when we did finally get outside and Ben was getting on his bike, Mitchell was just standing there.  I asked him why he wasn't getting on his bike, and he said, "I thought we were going to take a Corvette!"  He really thought we were going to go snooping into garages until we found this car, then we were going to somehow get in and drive it to the park.  Where does he get these ideas?

Just a few pics of yet another day spent at home without any friends because we are sick.  Feel like we have the plague or something. 

  Speaking of the plague, I was just talking to a friend about the name of the sickness the boys have - Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease.  We agreed that it sounds like either some crazy plague from Biblical times, or some disease livestock get, rather than a rash in the throat.  Seriously, can't we rename this "disease?"  At least not call it a "disease?"