His Favorite Girl

I've spent enough time around kids, mine and other people's, to notice that when it comes to how they feel about the opposite sex, age has nothing to do with it.  Nor does the sex of the child.  They are either all about it or they find it embarrassing or even disgusting.

My boys fall somewhere between embarrassing and disgusting.  It's not that they don't like girls.  Far from it.  Some of Ben and Mitchell's closest friends are girls.  But if anyone even hints at the word "girlfriend," or raises an eyebrow when a girl gets flirty with them, or teases them in any way about girls, they get embarrassed and shush you.  Big time shushing.  And add in some serious eye-rolling too.  You get the picture. Ben more so than Mitchell, probably because Mitchell is just better at ignoring anything he doesn't like.  

But because they have been good-naturedly teased about it and just exposed to the whole idea that a friendship between a girl and a boy might someday have more involved that they don't quite get, they now use that knowledge as just one more thing to torment each other with.  

When they tire of more tried and true forms of pestering that start to loose their irritating effectiveness, they now toss in girlfriend comments.  Any time one of them wants to bug the other, they just claim some girl is his girlfriend and off they go!  

Jack doesn't get what all the fuss is about.  He is just recently even aware that girls are not just boys wearing girlish pink!  But because he listens to everything going on around him and soaks up all his brothers do like a sponge, he's jumping on the girlfriend wagon as well.  But he's all about it!

Riding in the car a couple days ago, he was playing with his phone.   Normally, he is playing a game on it, but this time, he was pretending to talk on it.  He was chatting away and I asked him who he was talking to and he said, "Oh, just my girlfriend."  I asked who his girlfriend was and he said, "Oh mom, it's you of course!  I'm talking to you because you are my girlfriend!  You are my favorite girl so you're my girlfriend."

He might be the sweetest boyfriend I've ever had.  I'll overlook his age and general lack of personal hygiene.  I'll be his girlfriend until he decides to break up with me.  

Princesses

What is the opposite of a boy? A princess, of course!

Ever since Christmas when my nieces were here with their little princess dollies, Jack has decided there are two sexes: boys and princesses.

Jack saw me in a dress the other day and said with wide eyes, "Mommy! You're a princess!"

He saw a little girl with long hair at the park yesterday and pointed her out to me saying, "See that princess there, mom?"

What convinced me that he truly is substituting the word "princess" for "girl" though, was today after insisting on keeping me company while peeing. He said, "Mommy, you got no penis! Must be princess!"

So I'm pretty sure he wasn't trying to tell me I am pretty like a princess or that my hair was beautiful or that I exuded a certain regal "princess-ness." He was just pointing out that because I am not a boy like everyone else around here, I must be a princess.

A Play Date Changes Our Thoughts On Girls

Yesterday was our first time doing an afternoon/evening play date.  I have to say, it was awesome!  Mornings are the typical time moms choose to get together with their little ones, but I have always found mornings busy enough as it is and difficult to find an empty morning in common with whatever mom I am attempting to connect with. 

Thank you to my friend who decided to be the brave one and pack her three kids up and head over here to the chaos that is our house. We let the kids loose, emptied a few toy bins, poured ourselves a glass of wine, added a cookie or two (for the kids, of course!), and there you have it!  A recipe for success!  

I realize it may have been a bit tougher for her, as she was the one who had to pack her crew up and get over here and then get home again with tired and possibly cranky kids, but my boys and I loved it and it made those normally impossible hours between 4 and 6 fly by in style!  

After our friends went home, and we ate dinner, had a bath, and wound down a bit with some time together talking, I am left with some thoughts on the play date according to my boys: (I forgot to mention that this was their first play date with a girl since they have made their "opinions" on girls)

1. girls aren't as messy as boys (we could still see the floor of their room, which is a rare occurrence after a play date)

2. we need a girl to be the mommy sometimes

3. girls are good at making rules for games that have mommies

4. girls are good at playing dogs

5. girls have nice voices

6. we can't hear girls very well because they are more quiet

7. girls can jump almost as far as boys!

8. girls like dirt too!

9. we like some girls

I like the progress we are making here.  We like girls, but not all girls.  We have definitely maintained our position on the "bossy boots" type of girl.  She is still NOT to be trusted!

Not Off To A Very Good Start

My boys have yet to learn how to play with girls.  Now I realize you don't really have to "learn" to play with girls any more than you need to with other boys, but since we have no "girls" in our family (I don't count, apparently), my boys need some extra encouragement to even realize girls their age exist!  I don't know if it is normal for this age boy to stick to his own kind and if girls do it as well.  I really have nothing to compare it to since I only have boys of a certain age, but they really seem completely ignorant of the fairer sex.  For example, they play a lot of father/son games.  All their dinosaurs, cars, dragons, etc all get divided into two categories: "dads" and "sons."  I hear them playing their imaginitive games in their room, calling "Hey, son!" and "Yeah, dad?"  Never is there a mom or a sister or a neighbor girl or even a serving wench!  Like I said, their world is suspiciously lacking in that area.

It doesn't help that their last couple "run-ins" with girls have not been entirely pleasant.  Twice now in the last week, we have come across "Bossy boots" at the park.  Two different girls on two different days at two different parks have taken it upon themselves to monitor my boys' behavior.  They have followed us around, pointing out all the dangerous activities they are involved in, telling them the "rules of the park according to her," and even trying to physically stop them from playing in certain ways.  Both times, this girl bit off a bit more than she could chew with team Mitchell and Ben, but it has stuck with them enough that they came up with the name "bossy boots" for girls and I can't help but think this hasn't helped their avoidance of girls in general.  

I have tried to explain to them that not all girls are like this - bossy, that is, but they don't believe me.  When I reminded them that I am a girl and asked if they thought I was bossy too, Ben said, "Mom, you are not a girl, you are a mom, and you are bossy!"  One look at my face, and he changed his statement a bit: "Well, you are the boss, but not always bossy.  Is that the same thing?"  

Oh boys, I guess we can be a bit bossy.  Get used to it, but don't take too much of it!  Maybe we are off to a good start after all...