Difficult Choices

Hurray!  Both boys have filled their sticker charts!  

We recently reinstated the use of sticker charts with our boys.  It is funny - a sticker on an empty chart at the beginning is far less motivating than when we they get down to the last few spots.  Those stickers are vigorously sought after!  Once they can almost feel that "special toy" in their hot little hands or taste that "special treat" on their tongues, it is amazing how motivated they are to fill up those last few spots!  I have boys asking what they can clean for me and if they can please practice their letters and saying things like, "Did you see how kind I just was to Jack?" and "I sure love you, mom," and "I just brought the mail up for you, mom!"

This time, for their reward, they both decided to pick out a toy at the store.  After choosing something in the acceptable price range, we came home with two small airplanes - one for each boy.  Ben got his immediately, but Mitchell still had one spot to fill, so he had to wait a bit.  By the time he did fill it, he had changed his mind about what he wanted and was certain that he would like an ice cream cone at McDonald's instead.  I tried my hardest to help him understand that once he ate his ice cream cone, there was no going back and he couldn't then change his mind again.  He assured me that he understood and we rode our bikes to McDonald's for his chosen treat.  We had a great time and Mitchell fully enjoyed his ice cream (even voluntarily shared a few bites with Ben!), but as I suspected, the moment we returned home, he said he decided he wanted his plane after all.  I just knew he was going to do this!  I reminded him that we had already talked about this, but he suddenly didn't seem to understand anymore.  It didn't help at all that Ben was very disappointed that his new plane didn't have a "friend" to fly with and was joining in the battle on Mitchell's side, fighting with him for double treats.  I had to stand my ground, of course, but in the end, I think that when Mitchell sees Ben playing with his treat after his treat has long digested, he feels a bit cheated.  Maybe next time I should eliminate the choice for him and just get him a little treat ahead of time and avoid the drama.  

This does make me wonder about Mitchell though.  Does he really not get it and did he really feel cheated, or is he smarter than I give him credit for and was intentionally trying to work me on this?  I really can't tell with Mitchell...

Soccer: Part 2

Well, our second attempt to get Mitchell to play soccer was a bit more successful - just a bit.  We began by not requiring him to wear his uniform, and then got there a bit early and let Ben run around with Mitchell on his field before classes started so that he could get him a bit more excited about it.  So far, so good.  Mitchell was running, kicking, jumping around, making a goal or two, and actually smiling!  With high hopes for the actual class, we took Ben over to his own field, where he quickly joined in with the other kids.  

Left on his own without his own little coach to keep him moving, he sort of...lost his energy.  He forgot all the "cool moves" he was talking about showing the other kids, and how he was going to be "fast like Ben" and just kind of did his own thing out there.  On the positive side, he didn't cry at all, and he didn't require one of us to actually drag him around.  By the end of the hour, he was actually beginning to listen and follow directions and actually run and kick a bit.  Who would have thought a little boy would need encouragement to run and jump and kick!  But I am encouraged by his progress and think in another week or two, he will be having just as much fun as Ben out there.  

After practice, Ben quickly downed his entire water bottle and wanted me to feel how sweaty he was from all his exercise.  As we were walking out to the car, he grabbed Mitchell's hand and asked him how he did this time and if he had fun and remembered to be the fastest and be a good listener.  They walked to the car together this way, deep in conversation about how proud Ben was of Mitchell and how excited they were for the promised ice-cream cones.