No Fair!

Mitchell is almost always entertaining.  He's smart.  He's funny.  He's goofy.  He asks rediculous questions.  He hops up and down when he's excited.  He will show even the mailman his treasures if he can trap him for long enough.

Today was no different.  A long boring car ride was spiced up a bit with the musings of Mitchell.  He asked me if I was tired and I answered that I was a little bit.  He offered to trade seats with me so I could rest a little and let him drive - "Mom!  I know how to drive!  I'm serious!  Give me a chance!"

I told him I wasn't quite that tired and also that he wasn't quite big enough to actually drive for real yet.  Thought that settled it.  Nope.

A few minutes later, a Mini Cooper drove by and Mitchell brightened up again: "Mom! That car is definitely smaller than ours!  I could drive that one for sure!  We really need to get one of those!"

He was so serious about the idea of a small car being for smaller people that it made me almost sad to tell him that no, he was still not old enough, even if he felt he was big enough.

Well, he did not care for that answer.  "Well that's not fair to all the kids out there who want to drive!"

That's so true, Mitchell.  Six-year-olds wishing to drive cars really get a tough break in life.

Turn It Up!

It is winter break for my kids this week. Yes, we already had a Christmas break, but it was only a week long and now we are getting Christmas break, take 2, a couple months later. As I have all three boys home all day every day with me all week long, I think I will take this opportunity to share with you something that is driving me loony in my daily life.

Jack loves music. Jack loves to sing. He loves to dance. He wants music on no matter where we are or what we are doing. He will dance at home or in the car or in a store. He does a little boogy on the sidewalk when a car drives by with it's music blaring.

Jack also loves music LOUD. Listening to a song at a normal volume just isn't acceptable to him. This is most evident in the car. I take Jack everywhere with me and he spends some time running to and from things in the car with me every morning. That kid loves the radio and he knows many songs by name, and often it is cute. He will say "I like this song, mom!" or "turn it off! It's rubbish!" or "Don't like this one!" or "I know this song!" But no matter what his opinion of the quality of the song, he always has one constant command: "Turn it up! Loud! Louder! Super loud!"

I also love music and I like to listen to it in the car. I also have opinions on which songs are nice and which are rubbish. Jack and I often agree on such things. We DO NOT agree though, on how loud to listen to it! I hate loud music. I love all kinds of music, but I want it all at a volume that I can hear other things going on around me, or my kids trying to talk to me, or a car honking, or my husband trying to have a conversation, or my own mind thinking!

Jack, like his dad, wants to blast the music, then talk about something. I then turn the volume down so I can hear him, and he shouts/demands, "Hey! Turn it up! Need it loud!"

I have a fight over how loud is too loud in the car every single day and am daily left wondering why this little boy of mine is such a bossy-boots with insensitive ear drums. I am going crazy...

The Flasher

On the way home from church today, Ben was attempting to talk about Jack's class with him. After telling him all about what he learned and what he did, he began to question his little brother.

Jack, what did you do at church today?

I drink juice! I eat snack! Graham crackers!

Did you play with toys?

I play with toys! Tractor!

What else did you do?

I eat snack! I NEED snack! I want snack, mommy! I NEED it!

*here is where I had to get involved and distract him long enough for them to get past his constant "need" for food and back to the subject at hand*

So what else did you do, Jack?

I show my penis!

*pause*

This is when we all burst out laughing, especially the older boys. I seriously doubt he pulled his pants down and showed his privates, although I wouldn't put it past him. Certainly the teacher would have said something. I do wonder what his train of thought was though that led him to say this. Whatever it was, it was funny.

Loading

Jack is a lover of books, this I have talked about many times. But have I mentioned his growing love of my IPhone as well? I try to use it sparingly, but sometimes I have two choices: grumpy and/or crying baby because I have drug him to one too many things past his nap time and he is tired of sitting in his car seat, singing songs with me and looking for Christmas decorations, or happy, entertained baby watching the dang Elmo potty song or "Move It, Move It" for the hundredth time! I hope I am not alone in my allowing my 2-year-old to surf through his favorites on YouTube sometimes.

So he loves my phone. I admit it. I didn't realize his understanding of it though until today when I paused too long during one of the way too many stories I read to him. I paused for too long, he waited a second, then looked at me and said, "I wait. Just loading, mom. Just loading."

How many times have I reminded him to wait patiently for Elmo's amazing singing/song-writing talents to be performed with the words, "Just wait a minute, Jack. It's loading."

Apparently, my IPhone isn't the only thing that takes a while to load. Man, sometimes I just need a nap! Be patient, Jack! Mommy's still loading!

W!

Jack had two obsessions lately: talking without ceasing and BMW's. It's really great (that last word is said with heavy sarcasm) when he combines these two obsessions.

It is amazing how talented he is at spotting a BMW, but even when he doesn't actually see one, he talks about finding one. He will sometimes spend an entire car trip babbling on and on about "W's," as he calls them. His one sided conversations often sounds something like this:

"Mommy! Daddy's dubba-you! Fast dubba-you! Find one! Dubba-you outside! Window down! See dubba-you! Go fast! Vroom vroom!"

Sounds cute huh? Well, for a few minutes it is cute, as long as he keeps the volume down, that is. But after a few minutes, and I have not given the appropriate response to all his comments, (still trying to figure out what, exactly, he expects me to say through all this) he begins to up the volume until he is shouting about "dubba-you's."

The only thing that will distract him from BMW's is a Porsche, although then we just have the same conversation, just substitute "Peesha" for "dubba-you..."

Dirt, Dude Style

Summer is all about getting sweaty and dirty when you're a "dude." At least, that is what my boys tell me when I ask how they get so dirty.

They tell me I shouldn't worry about it too much, it's "dude style" to get dirty and make messes.

Mitchell can't quite decide if dirty feet is a good thing or a bad thing though. He has a certain pair of shoes that he LOVES because they are exactly like daddy's and he gets to slip them on with no socks, but they also make his feet quite stinky and sweaty. Every time he kicks them off, he has to sit down and clean out between each of his toes with his finger. It is so funny to see him sitting on the floor, foot pulled up into his lap, methodically wiping the dirt out from between each of his toes.

The other day, he kicked his shoes off in the car though and began his cleaning ritual right there in his seat next to Ben. Ben was severely grossed out and said, "Ew, Mitchell! Stop taking your stinky shoes off and stop touching your stinky toes! Don't even think about touching me now!"

Mitchell didn't even look up from his grooming, just said, "Ben, my feet are dirty and I'm cleaning them 'dude style'."

I am constantly getting schooled as to what exactly "dude style" means. Apparently, it includes both having dirty feet and also cleaning dirty feet with your fingers in the car.

What We're Listening to These Days

While running an errand with Mitchell a couple days ago, a song by Eminem came on the radio. Yes, I listen to more than children's music and Sunday School songs in my car.  I admit it.  Don't get me wrong, I love Puff the Magic Dragon as much as anyone and a good, rousing rendition of Bear Hunt is always tons of fun, but even I have limits as to how many times in a row I can hunt this bear, especially when the motions are so exuberant my poor car takes quite a beating.

Now Mitchell has this thing where he has to know the name of every person who is singing every song.  Every time a new song comes on, I can count on him to ask, "What's this man's name, mom?"  And yes, he always says "man," even if it is a woman singing.  Welcome to my male-dominated world.

Anyways, like I said, Eminem was busy angrily shouting his lyrics into my car via radio waves (by the way, try explaining how radio and radio waves work to your kids!) and I was not paying attention at all to what as on until, sure enough, from the back seat came the voice of the inquisitor: "Mom, what's this man's name?"  He did not believe me when I told him his name was Eminem.  "Like the candy?"  After convincing him that I was not joking with him, he decided that was a pretty cool name.  He then went on to comment on the song: "Mom, why is he shouting and why is he so mad?  He really sounds mad.  [long pause]  I like it."

So Mitchell is an Eminem fan, apparently.  Not sure I'm too happy about that or think it is the most appropriate music for a 3-year-old, but at least he has moved on from Katie Perry (she just had to say something about a popsicle in one of her songs.  Curse you, Katie Perry!)

When we got back in the car after our errand, Mitchell asked if we could listen to the "angry Neminem guy" again.