All My Bags Are Packed, I'm Ready To Go

Ever since I told my boys that we were going to California for spring break, they have been making preparations. What kid doesn't love vacation? What mom doesn't love vacation, for that matter?

I decided that since I am traveling with all three of them on my own, I would get them their own little suitcases that they can manage themselves so I won't have to haul all the luggage myself. Mitchell helped me pick out one for each big boy, and even if we weren't going on vacation, these cute little suitcases have been one of the best purchases I have made in a long time! The boys LOVE them! As soon as we got them home, they packed up all their bedtime necessities and swimsuits and were ready to go! (I would perhaps disappoint you if I didn't mention that Mitchell, of course, also packed a soap dispenser, his skeleton pajamas, and his entire doctor kit.) I had to keep reminding them that we still have weeks to go.

Learning they have to wait weeks until we leave was a bit of a bummer for them, but, like kids do, they got over it quickly and just made a game out of packing. We have played "vacation" daily now since we brought those suitcases home. Couches have turned into airplanes, I keep getting buzzed to bring snacks and drinks, Jack's bedroom transformed into the beach, the bathtub is the pool... and always the suitcases go with them everywhere this game takes them.

Sometimes I Really Love The Smell of Shaving Cream

The one down side to Matt doing well at work is that he is gone a lot more.  I really can't complain as his success is what allows me to do what I love to do, which is stay home with my boys, but we sure do miss him when he is gone!  

I have had many years to get used to his traveling - first on my own, then with one baby, then with two little boys, now with three.  Although it isn't ideal, we have a system worked out and we get along just fine, but I still feel the same way I did when we were first starting out in our life together and he'd have to leave.  That first day is a killer!  It doesn't matter what time of day he leaves, even if he leaves at a time he'd normally be gone at work anyways.  I know he is gone and I get an unshakeable, sad feeling.  Kind of a nagging worrisome feeling that is there all day.  I am always surprised by this feeling and how strong it is every time because it doesn't seem to fit with me and my personality.  I really don't expect this from myself, but it happens every time.

In response to this "sadness" that comes upon me, I have begun doing some funny things, just to remind me of my missing husband.  I wear his boxers or t-shirt to bed.  I shave my legs with his shaving cream because it smells like him.  I drink an extra beer in honor of him (ok, that one I do for myself and my own sanity!), I sleep on his side of the bed, and sometimes wear one of his hats around all day.  I'm not sure any of these things make that first day less... "blue" for me, but I do them anyways.  

After that first day, I feel just fine again.  Sometimes we have a great time while he is away, doing special "mommy" things like movies in my bed or eating out at places Matt doesn't ever want to go to.  Other times are tough and I just need him home to help me with my crazy kids, but it is only that first day that produces the crazy, weird feeling in me.  I guess I just love my husband.