Who Makes The Rules Around Here?

We recently received a house-warming package containing some DELICIOUS cookies. The only problem with them was that there were not enough. Matt had most of them gone before the rest of us even had a chance to fight for them (and Matt normally will pass on the sweet stuff!)

To help alleviate the disappointment of my younger boys, and also to create more deliciousness, I asked for the recipe, and yesterday, the big boys and I whipped up a batch of our own.

As we were busy crumbling graham crackers up, Ben felt the need to speak his mind on the whole "dad ate most of the cookies and mom finished them off while we were in bed and it's not fair" issue. He came up with a very sensible rule of his own regarding cookies:

"Mom, can I make a rule here? I think when someone gives you a cookie, you may always eat it. But when there are kids asleep who want to eat the cookies the next day, you can't just eat them all up! "

I'm not sure why I got blamed for the vanishing cookies, when Matt ate most of them (probably because the boys know me well and it sounds like something I would do...) but it sounds like a pretty sensible rule. I can only promise to try though...

I've Got A Potion For That!

Mitchell tends to not play by the rules.  I am not referring to family rules or being obedient to his parents.  I am referring to play time "rules."  Ben usually has a very specific game plan when it comes to what he wants to play, complete with characters and a plot, and likes the rest of us to fall in line with that plan.  

I am not sure if it because Mitchell doesn't like being told how to play by his big brother anymore, or if part of him just loves to get under Ben's skin in this way, but while Ben is busy making the rules of the game, Mitchell is just as busy changing them to his own liking.  

Oh!  You say I have to turn into a dragon now?  Well, I didn't!  I'm still a car!  

No, I won't get in the closet!  That's a jail and I am not going to be the bad guy anymore!  I am a helicopter pilot!

The gun can't shoot me because I am magic!

No, the lava doesn't burn me, I have lava-proof boots on!

This new exertion of independence on Mitchell's part has thrown Ben and me a bit of a curve ball and we are trying to find a way to get back to the harmonious playtime that once was the norm.  It is tough to all play together when one of us is so bent on "breaking the rules" and "doing his own thing."

A perfect example of Mitchell turning the game in whatever direction he chooses is by use of "potions."  He really has a potion for just about any ailment Ben can concoct!  If Ben kills him, he whips out his "alive potion."  If Ben breaths fire on him, he drinks his "fire-proof potion" and is safe.  If Ben turns him into a dragon, he drinks his "potion" and becomes a skeleton instead.  

He does this with me as well.  If I dare to invent my own character or, God forbid, don't stick to the script of what I am allowed to say in the game, he just fixes it with a potion.  I could be shot with flaming arrows and killed immediately, but if I dare shoot one back, well, there's a potion for that, you can be sure.  

An Exception To A Very Important Rule

I am sure you have heard the advice, "Never disturb a sleeping baby" or some variation of this before.  It isn't just advice in our home, it is an important rule.  It has been a rule applying to all my kids, not just babies, since my first one was born.  

Well, times are changing.  I no longer have three nappers.  Jack is the only one who takes a nap anymore, so he is really the only one we tip-toe around while sleeping.  The other two are notallowed to take naps anymore, even if they could really use one, because just a few minutes of shut-eye causes them to be awake far too long after bedtime.  It really is amazing how just a half hour nap causes them to loose hours of nighttime sleep.

So while we still have this rule in our house, I make exceptions when the big boys fall asleep in the middle of the day.  I allow them to sleep for just a bit (obviously, they are in need of a little rest if they fall asleep on their own, despite their best efforts not to sleep) but not only do I wake them up after only the briefest of rests, I don't require a quiet atmosphere around them either.  In fact, I often enlist the help of the other boys to wake the sleeping one.  

While always grumpy towards their mom or dad for waking them before they are ready, they rarely get mad if I allow Jack to work his magic on them, and Jack just can't resist a sleeping brother!  I think he thinks it is a good game of peek-a-boo or something.  Whatever his reasons, he loves to play with them most when they are asleep.  He climbs on them, snuggles them, rolls over them, pulls their hair, slobber-kisses them, and just laughs and babbles throughout the entire waking up process.

Look at their faces.  This is not the look or response I get when I wake him on my own.

Probably a Pretty Good Rule

As we watched Shrek and Fiona give each other a kiss tonight, Ben started chuckling and said, "Mom, can I tell you one of my rules at school?"  Wondering what kissing and school rules had to do with each other at the kindergarten level, I asked him to continue.  "No kissing allowed!"  

Well, that certainly sounds like a good rule to me, but I was curious as to who was doing this kissing in order for the rule to have been made, pointed out, and enforced.  I figured some girl was the culprit (you really can't trust those girls, you know.)  When I asked him who was kissing people, he said, "Well, Johnny kisses just about everyone."  Johnny is the guilty party here?  I was not expecting that one.  

It's So Cute, You're Not In Trouble...This Time!!

Have I mentioned how much my older boys LOVE their baby brother?  I had high expectations before he was born because both boys were already showing plenty of excitement over the coming addition, but I never expected this kind of reaction!  When picturing how the boys would all interact together, I never imagined I would have to encourage a little less attention from the boys to Jack.  

Gone is the little slug who lays there relishing every kiss, every snuggle, every smothering with a blankie, every time his face is strangely contorted into a funny shape, every steam-roller, every poke and tickle and squeeze.  Developing along with his ever-increasing mobility is a little personal bubble.  He takes after his mom and his brother Mitchell - he just needs some space.  Too much cuddling, snuggling, and smothering makes a fussy baby (or mommy or older brother.)  I am finding that instead of needing to encourage the big boys to play with him or not to forget about him, I have the opposite problem - I have to remind them to give him space or to squeeze him then let go or not to lay on top of him and most of all - let him have some alone time in his room when he wakes up from a nap!  Going in there when we first hear a noise is way too soon for him!  He needs some time to wake up on his own and "prepare himself" for the barrage of boys about to hit him.  Takes some psyching up, I think.

So one of our house rules is that no one is allowed to go into Jack's room without permission.  The boys fight over who gets to go in first.  I can't believe they do that.  I can't believe how special it is to them!

A few days ago, Mitchell, Jack, and I all took an afternoon nap while Ben had quiet time alone in his room.  Shortly after falling asleep, I heard noises on the monitor and not the usual noises.  Ben was definitely in there!  I rushed downstairs, but paused before entering Jack's room.  They were both just cracking up!  I peaked in and saw Ben in the chair, performing for Jack, who was laughing and and standing and bouncing up and down in his crib.  They were having so much fun I left them in there for 10 more minutes or so until the magic was gone and Jack was bored of it.  After reminding Ben that this is normally not allowed and he assured me that Jack was already awake when he went in there, he got off easy this time.  He sure does love that little baby boy...

I Guess Some Rules Are Just Mom's Rules

I never quite know what to expect on the weekend when Matt is home and playing with the boys. The boys get to do things with daddy that I would never even think of letting them do.  I have many reasons why certain things are not allowed, among them safety concerns and more often, trying to keep the messiness to a minimum.  

But when I am gone and daddy takes over for a while, they get a bit...creative and always end up doing something that is borderline naughty.  I don't think Matt or the boys sit down and think, "Now, which rule can we break and what will make the most mess here?"  I think Matt just turns back into a little kid himself and they don't alway think about what I would do or allow if I were around.  I always return home to find plenty of laughing and often quite a mess.

This time, the mess was minimal, and they cracked me up, showing me that some rules really are only in place because I don't want the mess or clean-up, not because of a real right-and-wrong issue.  I am OK with some rules being bent when daddy is in charge.  Why not have special things to do only during "dude time?" 

They were all upstairs and when they heard that I was home, there was plenty of shushing and whispering, "Dad!  Mom's home!  Shhh!"  They snuck to the top of the stairs and then called me over to check them out.  They had decided facial hair could not wait a few more years, so they got out the non-permanent markers (I have to hand it to Matt for finding these markers instead of the Sharpies) and speeded up puberty a bit (yes, Matt is still awaiting puberty when it comes to facial hair as well.)

Notice them proudly clutching their weapons of defacement here.  The look on their faces says, "Mom, we are getting into so much mischief and daddy helped us!"  True true, boys.  You would never have gotten this one past me had you asked me first.  Good thing you have a dad who loves mischief almost as much as you do and who encourages you to be the crazy boys you are.  Don't try this one when I'm around though, and don't let me catch you drawing on Jack!