Bad to Worse

I am sick. I admit it. I hardly ever get sick, but now I am and I have been miserable. Part of what has made it so bad is that I was the last to get sick after everyone else was sick. So after dealing with sickness in my kids all week, I now have no energy left to fight!

But such is life and I'm a mom and life goes on. I can't stay in bed or take a nap or curl up under a blanket on the couch like my kids can and should when they are sick. I just medicate and keep going (albeit with just a tad of grumpiness thrown in there...)

After being stuck in the house all week last week with sick kids, I just had to get away after dropping the boys off at school, even though I was feeling like death. So where did I go? The gym. I can see now that perhaps was not the best place to go, but it seemed logical at the time.

Knowing cardio was out of the question unless I wanted my throat to close up and suffocate me (which I did not), I chose squats - a lot of squats.

When I finished the number I set out to do, I put the bar back on the rack and just laid down flat on my back for a good ten minutes, willing my throat to open back up so I could at least breath, let alone cough up the phlegm blocking the way.

Now, today, on top of the aches and pains of being sick, my body is aching all over! It had been a whole week since I visited the gym prior to that last one, so I may have overdone it a bit. I can hardly move. I'd kick myself if I could lift my leg...

Be Careful Where You Fall Asleep!

I get so tired sometimes. I know I have blogged about this before - how I sometimes am so tired I feel I could lay down and sleep just about anywhere at any time of the day? Any other moms feel this way, or should I go see a doctor...

Well, today was another one of those days where I just wanted to lay down in every room I was in. Playing in the basement with the boys: I set up a nice bed of couch cushions and made that home base for the Autobots. Living room: couches of course. I was trying to read stories to the boys but Ben had to take over for me after a while. Boys' bedroom: in the nice, warm, clean pile of laundry of course! It was just so inviting that I had to snuggle up in it. Soon enough, my eyes didn't want to stay open anymore and I was drifting off to semi-consciousness (I can't actually sleep with three boys playing around and on me.)

Well, I knew Mitchell and Jack were messing around with the laundry around me and I could certainly feel them climbing on me and playing with my legs. I sensed no problem though, so I continued to drift. Finally, Mitchell came up to my face and softly said, "Mom! Are you cozy enough now? I bet you are nice and comfy and warm!"

Come to think of it, I was feeling a bit toasty. The room wasn't that warm when I laid down. Curiosity overcame my sleepiness and I sat up, only to find the boys' shirts, pants, underwear, and jammies all on my legs. Not just laying on my legs. They had put my feet through one of the holes in each piece of clothing, a leg hole or a neck hole, and filled my legs up with as many pieces as they could get on there! I just looked at my legs, then looked at the happy expressions on my boys' faces, and started laughing.

I really never know what will happen if I start to sleep around these boys.

That's Just How I Feel

To those of you who have missed my regular posts: sorry. There has been an ever-abundant supply of things to write about. My boys are no less imaginative, creative, rambunctious, mischievous, or energetic than usual. The problem lies with mom. When I dragged myself up the stairs yesterday evening, I stepped on something at the top and just stopped and stared at it a bit. I knew exactly how he felt!

All I can say about myself the last few weeks is pictured right there in that sad dinosaur - deflated. I'd like to lay down on the floor with him and just be flat for a while. I am positive I could sleep there, if given a few minutes to try.

My life is wonderful and I have no real reason to complain or wish for something else, but I have been doing the exact same thing for almost 6 years now and I do feel deflated. My energy must have transferred from me into my kids, my health is going wacky, and I have dark circles under my eyes. I fall asleep in strange places at strange times of the day, and I have had a constant headache for going on two weeks now.

There is no cure for what I have, other than to find a better way to maintain a healthier balance in my life. In trying to give all my energy to my kids, I have run out, therefore am a worse mother for it because I just can't muster the strength to keep it up. What this "better balance" will look like, I am still contemplating. I suspect not much will change, but we will all move from the phase we are currently in to a new one naturally and things will balance out on their own.

But for now, this sad, deflated dinosaur and I will get by with what air we have left in us. Judging by the fierce protectivness the boys show over that flat dinosaur (which has a hole in it so can't be blown back up, by the way) which is demonstrated when I suggest we throw it away, I suspect they want to keep me also and don't even notice that I am a bit... deflated.

Is It Nap Time Yet?

Ever since school started a couple weeks ago, I have been more tired than usual.  I am still figuring out how to manage my schedule so that I can get all the drop-offs and pick-ups done, baby napped, meals made, clothes changed, gym visited, house picked up, plus all the other things that I squish into a day.  In all the schedule changes, the one thing that has gone away is any sort of down time for me.  The boys' schedules are not the same anymore and are just staggered enough that I am basically "on" from when they wake up until they go to bed.  

All this business is wonderful.  I love it.  We are all loving the new changes in our lives and adapting well, for the most part.  At about 3:00 in the afternoon though, it hits me - that wave of sleepiness that mocks me for voluntarily getting up so early and begs me to lay down immediately and just close my eyes for a few moments.  I have found myself falling asleep in the funniest circumstances, actually.  A few days ago, I fell asleep sitting up on my patio while my boys played out there.  When I woke up (surely only a few minutes later), I was still in the sitting position and Jack had painted his face with dirt and was cracking his brothers up.  Yesterday was funnier though.  Jack was down for a nap, so I had the big boys crawl up onto my bed so I could read them a story.  Mitchell was asleep by the time I turned the second page (yes!  one down, one to go!) but Ben was not showing any signs of sleepiness.  It certainly was making me feel sleepy!  At one point in the story, Ben interrupted me to say, "Mom, you're reading it wrong!  That word you said didn't even make sense!"  I re-focused my blurry eyes and began again.  This time, he interrupted me with "Mom, I think you are falling asleep because you are talking really funny."  One more try on my part resulted in the book slipping and hitting me on the forehead.  Ben laughed at that one, but made me finish the story anyways.  He then had mercy on me and let me doze for about 10 minutes or so.  That was all I needed.  I woke up, made some coffee and was ready to tackle the rest of my day with a bit more gusto.