Monday, March 14, 2011

That's Just How I Feel

To those of you who have missed my regular posts: sorry. There has been an ever-abundant supply of things to write about. My boys are no less imaginative, creative, rambunctious, mischievous, or energetic than usual. The problem lies with mom. When I dragged myself up the stairs yesterday evening, I stepped on something at the top and just stopped and stared at it a bit. I knew exactly how he felt!

All I can say about myself the last few weeks is pictured right there in that sad dinosaur - deflated. I'd like to lay down on the floor with him and just be flat for a while. I am positive I could sleep there, if given a few minutes to try.

My life is wonderful and I have no real reason to complain or wish for something else, but I have been doing the exact same thing for almost 6 years now and I do feel deflated. My energy must have transferred from me into my kids, my health is going wacky, and I have dark circles under my eyes. I fall asleep in strange places at strange times of the day, and I have had a constant headache for going on two weeks now.

There is no cure for what I have, other than to find a better way to maintain a healthier balance in my life. In trying to give all my energy to my kids, I have run out, therefore am a worse mother for it because I just can't muster the strength to keep it up. What this "better balance" will look like, I am still contemplating. I suspect not much will change, but we will all move from the phase we are currently in to a new one naturally and things will balance out on their own.

But for now, this sad, deflated dinosaur and I will get by with what air we have left in us. Judging by the fierce protectivness the boys show over that flat dinosaur (which has a hole in it so can't be blown back up, by the way) which is demonstrated when I suggest we throw it away, I suspect they want to keep me also and don't even notice that I am a bit... deflated.


  1. Oh Deb.... I know exactly how you feel. I think that it's just the time of year. Not being able to let the kids go play outside and burn off energy can really drain on a mom day after day. Hang in there, Friend!

  2. Debbie, You are awesome. Only you can make this kind of sincerity and honesty still seem witty.....Sounds like you need a evening of Tim McGraw, cheap overcooked steak and a twelve pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

  3. yes, being able to go outside makes a huge difference, i agree. moms in southern california must be the best moms in the world! :)

    andy - well, you're on the right track, but can i have different music, food, and drink?? :)

  4. can have butter pasta instead:)



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