When I Grow Up

Ben takes a very realistic and cautious approach to the question: what do you want to be when you grow up? He usually answers something along the lines of "I'm not sure yet. We'll just have to wait and see."

Mitchell, however, is all over the place with that question. Lately though, he has set his sites quite high. He has decided that he would like to be an astronaut surgeon. Not a surgeon who only operates on astronauts, but an astronaut who also performs surgery in space. He'd also like to have a space dog to accompany him on his life-saving space missions.

Although this astronaut surgeon idea keeps coming back to him, he occasionally sees something that will change his mind for a day. A couple days ago, we had some men here cutting a tree down after the storm. Mitchell took one look at that truck and all the controls the man up in the bucket was using as he zoomed around in it with a saw on the end of a large pole and decided he might like to be a tree trimmer when he grows up.

He has also had garbage truck phases where he'd like to be the guy riding on the back of the truck and operating the "smusher." Our gardeners ride quite large mowing machines as well, which has gotten Mitchell thinking about a career riding a lawn mower.

At what point does the idea of being a garbage man stop sounding appealing to a young boy? When does riding a lawn mower become a chore and not exciting? Perhaps once he actually starts mowing and helping out more with garbage I suppose. But if trying things out is the way to eliminate them as an eventual career, how will we ever move on from astronaut surgeon?

Just Checking

Today, my sister and I took our kids to Central Park to play around at the water fountains (the ones made for kids, not the other ones I would get busted for putting my kids in, of course.) They had a great time running around, getting wet, and climbing the big rocks.

After a while, Mitchell decided he was getting cold so came and sat in the sun with me to warm up. At one point, I glanced over at him and he was looking down his shorts, clearly searching for something. When I asked him what he was doing in there, he said, "Oh, nothing really. Don't worry about it. Just checking my balls for hair. There isn't any. Guess I'm not a man yet."

Men At Work

Mitchell has created a new game for himself: he is no longer a boy going to school in the mornings, he is a man going to work.  Clearly, he has gotten over his aversion to "becoming a man."  It isn't enough for him to participate in this fantasy though - I have to join in as well.  He meticulously packs his "work bag" like daddy does each morning (his backpack is so full each  morning that I feel sorry for him when I lift it onto his little shoulders.)  He insists on me calling him either "man" or "Matt."  When we get to school, he no longer wants me to walk him to the door or give him a kiss goodbye.  He stops me and says, "Mom, I'm a man and I'm going to work.  Pick me up in a little minute.  I can walk to the door myself."  When I pick him up a "little minute" later and ask him how school was that day, he patiently reminds me that he was not at school and I should refer to him as "man" or "Matt" (or "Mr. Leem today - whoever that is...)  

It only takes a couple minutes of faking though before he forgets his own game and begins excitedly telling me about how he chased Charlie around the playground, breathing fire at him and trying to rescue Big Boy Jack (not to be confused with our own Baby Jack) from the dungeon, and singing his newest song he has learned in music class.  I'm pretty sure Matt and Mr. Leem do not play dragons, get stuck in dungeons, or sing B I N G O and Twinkle Twinkle at work.  

He really has fun with this game and I am thrilled that he wants to emulate his daddy.  I can play along with his "man" game as long as, in the end, he is having age-appropriate fun at school while looking forward to being a man at the same time.  It seems to me he is doing both quite well.  You are a funny boy, Mitchell. 

When I asked him to "look like a man" before school this morning so I could take his picture, this is the face I got.  Mr. Leem sure is a strange dude...

He's A Killer

Mitchell can't decide what he wants to be when he grows up, but for now, he has it narrowed down to two choices: dentist or killer.  Yes, I said "killer."

Today, he took a break from being the usual - a dentist - to be a killer.  He put little blocks on the end of his fingers and said, "Watch out, mom!  I'm the killer guy!"   Apparently, he has given it some thought, and decided he wants to be a killer when he grows up.  I asked him who he wants to kill and he said, "Just some bad guys...and sometimes Ben."  After a chuckle, I asked him if he knew what it meant to kill someone.  It was clear that he didn't understand, so I explained what it means.  He then looked at me and said, "Ok, I'll just pretend to kill.  And then I'll give them my magic potion to make them alive again."

I have no idea where his violent career choice has come from.  We don't watch anything resembling violence on TV, nor do we encourage abnormally violent games between the boys.  We let them wrestle and beat each other up a bit, but that's normal, right?  I don't pretend to always understand boys.  I guess he just feels the need to kick some butt right now.  I'm not quite sure what to do about it, but at least he carries a magic healing potion to correct his mistakes as he goes along.

When I Grow Up To Be A Man

Mitchell has a thought stuck in his head that he often brings up and wants reassurance about.  He is concerned about becoming a man.  It began with, "Mom, will I be a man?"  I assured him that he was, thinking he was excited about the idea, but his next question suprised me - "Do I have to be a man?"  Over the last week or so, he has been loaded with questions about "being a man" and he's just not sure it sounds like what he wants to be.  Some more of his questions have been "Why do I have to be a man?" and "What is a man?" I clearly have not made it sound like a good idea - this turning into a man business because after these sorts of questions, he makes statements such as "I don't want to be a man" and "I don't want to be a man, I just want to be Mitchell."  

I have been unable to figure out what his thinking is on this whole issue and what he actually thinks "being a man" means until he finally asked this question: "Can I turn into Mitchell again later?"  Ahhh...I think he believes that a "man" is something he will magically turn into, completely changing into something else like a dog or an ogre or a dinosaur.  Now that I have an idea where his apprehension is coming from, I can figure out better answers to his questions and more effective ways of painting a more positive picture for him.  

Because of all this "man" talk (he is talking to me about this instead of Matt because he has been out of town during this), I have had a song running through my head quite a bit.  I even sing it to the boys and while they only understand a little of the lyrics, they love it anyways because of the title and chorus:

When I grow up to be a man

Will I dig the same things that turned me on as a kid?

Will I look back and say that I wish I hadn't done what I did?

Will I joke around and still dig those sounds

When I grow up to be a man?

Will I look for the same things in a woman that I dig in a girl?

Will I settle down fast or will I first want to travel the world?

Now I'm young and free, but how will it be

When I grow up to be a man?

Will my kids be proud or think their old man is really a square?

When they're out having fun yeah, will I still want to have my share?

Will I love my wife the rest of my life

When I grow up to be a man?

What will I be when I grow up to be a man?

Won't last forever.

It's kind of sad

Won't last forever

It's kind of sad

Won't last forever.

-Beach Boys, "When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)"

Oh, Mitchell, you have so much ahead of you!  Most of this song doesn't yet apply to you, but it will!  You will grow into a man, but still stay Mitchell and I can't wait to see how it all turns out!  You have a wonderful, strong, and confident daddy to guide you along the way and make the process exciting and meaningful.  "Becoming a man" might be scary at times, but Daddy will be there to show you how to do it!  Cheer up!