Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sometimes I Really Love The Smell of Shaving Cream

The one down side to Matt doing well at work is that he is gone a lot more.  I really can't complain as his success is what allows me to do what I love to do, which is stay home with my boys, but we sure do miss him when he is gone!  

I have had many years to get used to his traveling - first on my own, then with one baby, then with two little boys, now with three.  Although it isn't ideal, we have a system worked out and we get along just fine, but I still feel the same way I did when we were first starting out in our life together and he'd have to leave.  That first day is a killer!  It doesn't matter what time of day he leaves, even if he leaves at a time he'd normally be gone at work anyways.  I know he is gone and I get an unshakeable, sad feeling.  Kind of a nagging worrisome feeling that is there all day.  I am always surprised by this feeling and how strong it is every time because it doesn't seem to fit with me and my personality.  I really don't expect this from myself, but it happens every time.

In response to this "sadness" that comes upon me, I have begun doing some funny things, just to remind me of my missing husband.  I wear his boxers or t-shirt to bed.  I shave my legs with his shaving cream because it smells like him.  I drink an extra beer in honor of him (ok, that one I do for myself and my own sanity!), I sleep on his side of the bed, and sometimes wear one of his hats around all day.  I'm not sure any of these things make that first day less... "blue" for me, but I do them anyways.  

After that first day, I feel just fine again.  Sometimes we have a great time while he is away, doing special "mommy" things like movies in my bed or eating out at places Matt doesn't ever want to go to.  Other times are tough and I just need him home to help me with my crazy kids, but it is only that first day that produces the crazy, weird feeling in me.  I guess I just love my husband.

7 comments:

  1. Gone again? :(. Your list is great, though. I am going to keep it handy for next time Mark is gone on business.

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  2. yes, gone again...

    make sure the t-shirt and/or boxers are clean ones! :)

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  3. Debbie, you truly are a special lady whom I have admired since the first time you told me you didn't want a career, you wanted to be a mommy. I know you could have done anything you wanted, maybe even earn a Nobel prize, but you chose the greater calling and I believe God is greatly rewarding you for that choice.

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  4. well, i certainly do feel rewarded in life and thanks for your kind words!

    nobel prize...hmm... to be honest, i forget which prize that is and what you even get it for! guess that takes me out of the running on that one. shucks.

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  5. Deb,
    I know exactly what you mean. When Norm had to be gone on business, the second he was out of town, I missed him terribly. I would have terrible thoughts of what might happen to him, how I'd be on my own raising Dan. I'd usually get really carried away thinking - okay, if I had to go live with somebody, who would I go live with? Hey, will you be a bud and friend me on Facebook - I know you probably quietly ignored me, but I love your blog so much and I only see them when I'm snooping on Norm's facebook page! I honestly think you could compile a collection of your blogs and you would have a great book on your hands!
    Thanks,
    Debi Hassler

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  6. well, maybe i'll put them all together somehow for my boys someday, although seems it would be easiest and most convenient for them to just read it on here this way some day the way we are now.

    i don't really have any fear for matt, just a sadness that he is gone.

    so who did you decide to go live with when the worst happened to norm? :)

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  7. I could never come up with a satisfactory substitute!
    Debi

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