Thursday, May 19, 2011

Sneaking In A Little Change

How many "do-overs" do you get in life? Really, how many times do you, as an adult, get to completely start over - change your attitudes, what kind of parent you are, what kind of Christian you are, what kind of wife/husband you are, what kind of friend you are, what kind of house-keeper you are, what kind of worker you are... ?

For me, it is difficult to change mid-stride. I have people who know me and know how I operate. They know my attitudes and how I handle situations and my style of life. A drastic change in any area invokes questioning and explaining and discomfort. It is tough to change right in front of your friends and family. They know you too well.

What you need to facilitate change more easily is to completely change everything!

Now, it just so happens, I am an expert at changing things up dramatically. It appears I am incapable of living anywhere for more than 2 years. Move number 7 since I married, coming right up!

Now, I am tempted to be sad. Other than the brutal winters, I have absolutely loved Chicago. My friends here are amazing. My neighborhood brings me happiness. I love my neighbors and the streets around me. While I was hoping to move up in the housing department soon, I was not planning on going farther than a few blocks: I do just love these surrounding streets. I love the boys' school and I love how close I am to it. I love that my neighbors and I trade kids for grocery trips and I love that I know almost everyone at the playground in the afternoons. I love this city and I love my life here. I will miss almost everything about my life here - the TERRIBLE winters I have experienced will NOT be missed...

While I am tempted to be sad, there really is a part of me that thrills to the idea of moving. Seriously, when else do you get such an amazing chance to begin again? No one knows me where I am going. No one knows my bad habits or complacent attitudes. No one will hold me accountable or ask questions if I suddenly change things up! I can be a better person and no will ever know that I haven't always been this amazing!

I can't let this opportunity slip through my fingers and take the easiest, most comfortable route, which is to continue on exactly as I am now, just in a bigger city. That said, I won't let Matt read my notes on the subject either, for fear that he will actually hold me accountable to my intended changes!



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