Saturday, July 31, 2010

The Hunting Party

We had an intruder in our house yesterday who needed to be hunted down and...well, not exterminated, just relocated.

We were all upstairs in my room, working on a project together, when I had to go downstairs to fetch yet another tool. As I entered the kitchen, passing the open patio door, something whizzed past my head in a blur. I suspiciously and catiously entered the living room, where the blur had headed, and found a bird perched on my window ledge, checking out the view as if he'd rather just observe the trees from inside rather than inhabit them in reality. He looked quite content sitting there, pooping his bright blue poop all over my window.

I immediately called for Matt, as I had my hands full with Jack, and couldn't be expected to get rid of the pest myself, right? Plus, for some reason, the bird scared me. He had beady little evil eyes and although I couldn't think of anything he could do to really hurt me, I didn't want to go near him. I had visions of him dive-bombing me, or at least, pooping on me. So I called for reinforcements.

When the boys found out what I was actually talking about, they went wild! Ben and Mitchell were so excited to see this bird flying around the living room and came flying down the stairs themselves to be a part of the action. The excitement hit a snag when they discovered the poop splatters all over the floor - "Mom! He poops! Don't put Jack down!"

Matt and I armed ourselves with brooms and cautiously approached senior intruder. I'm not sure we had a specific plan worked out as to what we were going to do though, so when we got close to him and he started bashing himself into the window, then fell down dead, we felt a little...disappointed. All that excitement for the bird to just commit suicide? I could have handled that myself!

Well, this bird had some tricks up his sleeve. We were about to pick him up to dispose of him when up he flew again, whirring around as if he was just taking a little snooze! Faker! He flew upstairs this time, pooping all the way! He ended up behind/under one of the boys' beds, where he decided to lay low. We regrouped and made a new plan which involved much opening of windows and also closing of doors to keep him in one room (duh...) I moved the bed out from the wall and there he was, just staring at me with those beady eyes again. I couldn't do it! I made Matt shoo him out of there while watching from behind a closed door with the boys (it was a mostly glass door.) He flew up to the ceiling, circled once, then flew out the window. Bye bye birdie! Don't come back!

Since then, Ben has been quite diligent keeping all doors and windows closed. "Mitchell - shut the patio door! We don't want the bird coming back!" "Mom! Don't open the window! What if a bird flies in again?" I think they secretly would love for it to happen again. It must have seemed quite the adventure for two little boys - chasing a bird around, leaping over splats of poop, waving mops and brooms in the air, shouting, laughing, just on the line between fear and hilarity.


  1. sorry about the spacing issues here, guys. I have trouble posting these from Matt's computer. I'll fix it up when I get mine back!

  2. That is too funny! You do tell the best stories!



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